Ive recently started stripping again and I love it........except for the fact that its my first week, and I had forgotten how much pain is included with stripper shoes and pole tricks...
The club that I'm working in now is pretty awesome. its smallish, they have a 5 drink maximum, (which means NO highly stupidly intoxicated strippers falling all over themselves or customers), unless of course they drink all 5 drinks within an hour...I tend to space mine out over the 6.5 hours im working...most of the time, i only end up getting 4 drinks through out the night.....I buy one for myself at the start of the shift and then have the gentleman buy the rest...but never at my request. I wait for them to suggest or ask if Id like a drink...
Im not a presumptuous Stripper. I dont go into work ASSUMING I'm going to push a guy into getting a dance or buying me a drink or giving me money. Any dollar I make, im grateful for and happy with...There are girls that I work with that bitch and complain about "not making any money"...if they go into this industry thinking that way, they NEVER will.
People, men namely, dont want a negative, bitchy complaining woman sitting next to them....They can get that at home....They want someone who they can talk to, a beautiful girl that will lavish attention on them (for the right price of course)....I am the kind of stripper that will sit with a guy for at least a half an hour or longer depending on the vibe Im getting from him...eventually, we can both feel each other and will end up in either the couch dance/private room/champagne court beCAUSE i took that time to talk to them, listen to them and not rush them into anything...sometimes thats all they want/need and they fall...
Yes, there ARE times when im just in a mood where i walk up to a guy and say to him, "(in his ear)MMmmmmmmmmmm...you look like you could use some private time with the hottest girl in here and I am SO ready to get naked and rub my body ALL over you...wanna play with me in the back?" (bite lip, flutter eyelashes)......and either thy take the bait and say yes, or they tell me no. Which is totally fine...
Another thing that I love about this club is that its clean....meaning, ABSOLUTELY NO drugs....and you can tell. none of the women are spacey/crazy/druggy looking...We're all healthy, friendly and nice to each other. There is very little drama.....Which is a rarity for strip clubs.
When someone talks about wanting to become a stripper, they think its easy...they think its an easy buck..........its not.....a few things...its not always about the money...its a painful tiring thing to do and if you dont have it in you, its not going to get you anywhere...nor make you happy and youll end up quitting before you start making the money you think is there....especially when youre a new girl.
Stripper shoes are painful to walk/dance in until you get used to them.....they're expensive...They range anywhere from $30-$200 a pair depending on height, design, color etc....and every stripper needs to have AT LEAST 2 pair......then there's outfits....what kind of outfits do you think look good on you and that will make you money??? what kind of club will you work in/feel comfortable working in? Gown clubs? nude clubs? regular outfit clubs? can you hustle champagne courts/vips/couch dances from guys if thats the primary source of money? (the club i work in, guys rarely tip you on stage and you need to make your money doing dances/vips/champagne rooms)...
Can you dance naked in front of strangers?? Dancing for your significant other is one thing...dancing naked for a room full of strangers that are looking at EVERY FLAW you may/may not have and then judge you for it later on is TOTALLY different...Some men can be pure assholes for no reason whatsoever. and you have to ask yourself if 1) you can handle being criticized and brush it off as just an asshole...2) if you can hold the way the assholes/chick drama makes you feel inside without exploding on the customers........Some WILL be assholes just to see if they can make the stripper cry or piss them off.
Can you move seductively on stage and not just "shake your ass"? most guys want to be enticed. not just see some random pussy shoved in his face.......Im not the pussy shoving type girl. Im also not the "booty clapping" type girl. and as a matter of fact, ive actually had many men watch strippers on stage while I was sitting with them, say "what the fuck is that?! why do strippers do that?! its SO unattractive....shows they have no imagination or creativity."
where as I get compliments because i PERFORM...i sing, i make eye contact, i have pole tricks i do at certain points in the songs...Im more of a burlesque type stripper and i WORK THAT SHIT....but im still sore and tired at the end of the night...but i wouldnt change it for the world.
Having thick skin, and a smart head, will get you far in this business...
April 29, 2012
March 22, 2012
Whats the Rush?
I'm starting to notice a trend here lately...When I first started dating yrs ago, everyone took it slow, took their time getting to know someone and really creating a beautiful relationship around GETTING to know someone....Now a days everyone seems to be in such a hurry....in the past almost year, Ive had/seen guys that wanted to pretty much jump from just meeting to married in 2.3 seconds............WHYYY?! What the EFF is the hurry? Are you dying tomorrow? Is the world going to end??? WHY be in *SUCH* a hurry to form a bf/gf relationship SO FAST?!
Taking your time in a relationship is direly important...what happens if suddenly you decide after one date that youre someone's S.O. and you brag/tell all your friends "OOOOOOOH, hes/shes SOOOO wonderful! blahzieblahzieblah" and you find out a day later hes a murderer/rapist/bank robber or he does drugs/illegal things??? What then???
If I am EVER dating someone, you wont know it until we're in the serious pool...meaning, Ive found out enough about him, learned enough about this person to ACTUALLY announce that he, whomever it might be, is worthy of being called my boyfriend...
I dont understand people that jump into relationship after relationship or jumping into ANY kind of relationship without REALLY getting to know someone...this goes for friendships too....Some of my dearest longest term friends, I'm STILL getting to know............years later.........are they my friends? Absolutely...do I trust them enough to have them be a part of my life? Sure......but that doesnt mean that I KNOW them....and the same goes for love relationships.
Taking it slow is something that I need in love relationships and I dont understand that the rush is...
Ok, yes, I am guilty of jumping headfirst without getting to know someone, but that was back in my VERY young days...Even with Dave, it took him 4 MONTHS to get into my heart/head before I even agreed to "be his girl"...we were friends first...we talked on Yahoo/texting/on the phone...we hung out a couple of times...and THEN, we became a couple....and THEN we "announced" we were bf/bg to the "world".....and aside from Cameron, EVERY relationship that I have *EVER* jumped head first into without truly getting to know them took a massive flaming nosedive into hell...
And im noticing that with guys in this area, in my age range...it seems they want to go from just meeting to married, literally in 2.2 seconds....I remember back last summer...Dave had just went back to Jersey...someone asked me to dinner, and, just to get out, the girls werent here and i was alone for a while...and i said yes...now..in my mind, this was not going to be a relationship thing because #1 i was NO WHERE NEAR ready to have one...but HE was...driving home from dinner/drinks that night, he was talking about the future with me already, talking about taking trips, etc etc...this was only supposed to be dinner...and #2) it was the "first date" so to be speak...in no way do I EVER constitute a 1st ANYTHING to be a relationship.............apparently, this guy did...
After me getting severely freaked out that he wanted something so fast, i avoided his phone calls for a week...but, he kept (desperately) calling/texting me...after a while, i answered...........2 minutes into the conversation, he says to me "April, are YOU ready for a serious relationship? Because I am..."
Did I mention he was 5 months out of his last relationship that he was STILL married to her???????
Shit, Im just barely out of my divorce a month and I'm STILL not ready for the serious relationships that most people around here seem to want from the jump...
I just dont understand it....What the hell is the RUSH???????
I really wish sometimes that I could be this age that I am now, and rewind time and date BACK when i first started dating because things just seemed to really go a lot slower back then.........is it the quest to have things NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW that has people rushing things??
Im not saying the jumping from relationship to relationship is wrong, or even rushing things....but, for ME, i *CANT*..........especially now that I'm older and wiser and set in my ways....I may not be traditional in a lot of ways, but in other ways i am....
I believe in being a gentleman and a lady (when it calls for it)...I believe in men holding doors open for ladies, pulling out chairs, being polite and having manners...(i.e. not belching/farting and laughing out loud thinking its hilariousy funny....when in fact, its quite rude and disgusting and should be kept to yourself...)
I believe in saying "please", "thank you", and saying "i appreciate you" is a turn on...I appreciate a hard working man that works hard to be romantic, loving and affectionate and keep his woman happy, even if its something as simple as bringing her chicken soup and a flower if shes sick....making me a cup of tea/coffee, supporting my work/dreams...being supportive and encouraging are turn ons too...
I believe in dressing up and looking good and think that tshirt and jeans ALL the time is lazy (unless you look REALLY good in NICE jeans and a NICER tshirt...OR don't mind getting ACTUALLY dressed up once in a while (WIHTOUT bitching and complaining about it)....I'll have to admit that seeing a man in a nice suit is a bigger turn on to me then seeing one in tshirt and jeans any day)
I believe that there's such a selfishness now a days of ME-ME-ME now a days that no one wants to really put effort, compromise and work into anything...especially relationships...but yet, they meet someone, and then have that person INSTANTLY be a FWB/bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife, IMMEDIATELY...
what the hell is the faults in getting to REALLY know someone before jumping into ANYTHING??? especially into the sac with someone..........I have never had a FWB....*NEVER*....because they don't work with me...and while I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with it, it wouldnt work for me because if *I* was in that situation, my heart/soul isnt set up to just "have sex like a man" and I would start to develop emotions..........which surprisingly happens a lot in those type of relationships and then people end up getting hurt.....
I dunno, I guess im just old fashioned now in the thinking that there should be a point of getting to know someone before jumping into the bf/gf/engaged/married pool...
Taking your time in a relationship is direly important...what happens if suddenly you decide after one date that youre someone's S.O. and you brag/tell all your friends "OOOOOOOH, hes/shes SOOOO wonderful! blahzieblahzieblah" and you find out a day later hes a murderer/rapist/bank robber or he does drugs/illegal things??? What then???
If I am EVER dating someone, you wont know it until we're in the serious pool...meaning, Ive found out enough about him, learned enough about this person to ACTUALLY announce that he, whomever it might be, is worthy of being called my boyfriend...
I dont understand people that jump into relationship after relationship or jumping into ANY kind of relationship without REALLY getting to know someone...this goes for friendships too....Some of my dearest longest term friends, I'm STILL getting to know............years later.........are they my friends? Absolutely...do I trust them enough to have them be a part of my life? Sure......but that doesnt mean that I KNOW them....and the same goes for love relationships.
Taking it slow is something that I need in love relationships and I dont understand that the rush is...
Ok, yes, I am guilty of jumping headfirst without getting to know someone, but that was back in my VERY young days...Even with Dave, it took him 4 MONTHS to get into my heart/head before I even agreed to "be his girl"...we were friends first...we talked on Yahoo/texting/on the phone...we hung out a couple of times...and THEN, we became a couple....and THEN we "announced" we were bf/bg to the "world".....and aside from Cameron, EVERY relationship that I have *EVER* jumped head first into without truly getting to know them took a massive flaming nosedive into hell...
And im noticing that with guys in this area, in my age range...it seems they want to go from just meeting to married, literally in 2.2 seconds....I remember back last summer...Dave had just went back to Jersey...someone asked me to dinner, and, just to get out, the girls werent here and i was alone for a while...and i said yes...now..in my mind, this was not going to be a relationship thing because #1 i was NO WHERE NEAR ready to have one...but HE was...driving home from dinner/drinks that night, he was talking about the future with me already, talking about taking trips, etc etc...this was only supposed to be dinner...and #2) it was the "first date" so to be speak...in no way do I EVER constitute a 1st ANYTHING to be a relationship.............apparently, this guy did...
After me getting severely freaked out that he wanted something so fast, i avoided his phone calls for a week...but, he kept (desperately) calling/texting me...after a while, i answered...........2 minutes into the conversation, he says to me "April, are YOU ready for a serious relationship? Because I am..."
Did I mention he was 5 months out of his last relationship that he was STILL married to her???????
Shit, Im just barely out of my divorce a month and I'm STILL not ready for the serious relationships that most people around here seem to want from the jump...
I just dont understand it....What the hell is the RUSH???????
I really wish sometimes that I could be this age that I am now, and rewind time and date BACK when i first started dating because things just seemed to really go a lot slower back then.........is it the quest to have things NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW that has people rushing things??
Im not saying the jumping from relationship to relationship is wrong, or even rushing things....but, for ME, i *CANT*..........especially now that I'm older and wiser and set in my ways....I may not be traditional in a lot of ways, but in other ways i am....
I believe in being a gentleman and a lady (when it calls for it)...I believe in men holding doors open for ladies, pulling out chairs, being polite and having manners...(i.e. not belching/farting and laughing out loud thinking its hilariousy funny....when in fact, its quite rude and disgusting and should be kept to yourself...)
I believe in saying "please", "thank you", and saying "i appreciate you" is a turn on...I appreciate a hard working man that works hard to be romantic, loving and affectionate and keep his woman happy, even if its something as simple as bringing her chicken soup and a flower if shes sick....making me a cup of tea/coffee, supporting my work/dreams...being supportive and encouraging are turn ons too...
I believe in dressing up and looking good and think that tshirt and jeans ALL the time is lazy (unless you look REALLY good in NICE jeans and a NICER tshirt...OR don't mind getting ACTUALLY dressed up once in a while (WIHTOUT bitching and complaining about it)....I'll have to admit that seeing a man in a nice suit is a bigger turn on to me then seeing one in tshirt and jeans any day)
I believe that there's such a selfishness now a days of ME-ME-ME now a days that no one wants to really put effort, compromise and work into anything...especially relationships...but yet, they meet someone, and then have that person INSTANTLY be a FWB/bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife, IMMEDIATELY...
what the hell is the faults in getting to REALLY know someone before jumping into ANYTHING??? especially into the sac with someone..........I have never had a FWB....*NEVER*....because they don't work with me...and while I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with it, it wouldnt work for me because if *I* was in that situation, my heart/soul isnt set up to just "have sex like a man" and I would start to develop emotions..........which surprisingly happens a lot in those type of relationships and then people end up getting hurt.....
I dunno, I guess im just old fashioned now in the thinking that there should be a point of getting to know someone before jumping into the bf/gf/engaged/married pool...
February 17, 2012
my journey into weightloss, toning and strength
Since I had my daughter Samantha, I have hated my physique, with the exception of when I was really thin...I have battled the way that i look body wise for sometime and cant stand the way it looks...with the exception of when I am thin, toned and fit...
Now, I know youre saying that I look great for having 5 kids and all that but let me tell ya...try living in my body...it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about my body....*I* myself hate it....I hate the jiggly fat that hangs off...Im trying to come to grips with my stretch marks but having had disparaging comments (thanks Jesse) about them several times, having people think I was pregnant because of my pooch (trust me, even with as little as my pooch is, when I truly stick it out, it looks like im 4-5 months pregnant...which is why you ALWAYS see me sucking/holding it in)...I hate my flabby tits from breast feeding...I hate the fact that I have to wear a waist cincher to have my clothes lay without bumpyness...I hate the fact that because my sternum is raised, my breast tissue falls under my arms and have to physically move the breast tissue out from under my arms to put them down at my sides, to type, to knit, anything that you need your arms close to your sides for....I hate the fact that to get *INTO* a bra, i literally have to bend over to get all the skin, tissue and etc INTO the bra.
Ive tried all the body image self esteem affirmations but I really just can not get passed every horribly sad thing thats been said about my body...Even though in general, men seem to think Im "hot/sexy", thats not the image I want to portray anymore.............I want to be beautiful in someones eyes......and I feel like that until I'm beautiful in my OWN eyes, physically body wise, not face wise, Im not going to be happy...
Now, I know that Im a fantastic person AS A PERSON....but, the first thing people see when they look at me is S-E-X. I'm not kidding...........I cant tell you how many times, through out the day/night (whenever) I'm greeted with "hey SEXY"...not, "hey beautiful" or even "hey April."...
Anyway, thats another rants in and of itself...
This one is about the fact of me getting fit, getting healthy, feeling better, having more energy and over all becoming more physically beautiful to myself....
After I win this BeachBody Challenge, and win the money, I will be getting implants.........I had thought about getting a tummy tuck, but hopefully, with this Chalean Extreme and with the weihtloss and toning I will be doing in the next 89 days, I wont have to worry about that anymore.
I am tired to death of people telling me "THEY" dont think *I* need something.........Are YOU LIVING in *MY* body?????? Do YOU see what I see everyday???? Do you see what I go through to get dressed everyday?? No. You dont. And until you do, it doesnt matter what YOU THINK about my body, what matters is what I think...........and how I FEEL about myself...
I am not doing this challenge for anyone but myself. I am not doing this challenge to impress anyone, to get anyone to join me........if you want to join me, GREAT! contact me (or my coach - Russ Wright on here) about how!! if you dont, so be it....But Im getting healthy FOR ME...........diet (and no, i dont ACTUALLY MEAN "diet"...i mean healthy eating...fruits, veggies, no junk, no sugar, no bad fats etc), and exercise is something that you should be doing everyday anyway....When I lose weight, and people see it, one of the first things they say is "why are you trying to loose weight?", they ask "you dont need it."
Well, how do you KNOW I dont need it??? I feel healthier and happier when I dont have extra weight hnging on my bodyframe...Im relatively small...I know I seem bigger but Im really only 5'4"....And, I know it may not seem it but, I actually have PAIN in my body when i way over a certain amount.....the way someone who is extremely obese has issues with their knees and ankles? I have that...bad back? Yup, that too...less energy, you betcha...Im exhauted...and Im exhausted of looking in the mirror and seeing something nasty...my fat rolls...
I quit smoking because it was making me feel like shit....and because its bad bad bad for you........(it is, sorry smokers, but it is.).....And, my fat rolls is making me feel like shit too...I want them GONE...and my breasts fixed...I plan on talking about my Beach Body Challenge A LOT in the next several months, so, if Ya'll dont want to hear it, remove me from your friends list............Im also planning on becoming a coach for BeachBody, so if you dont want to hear about that either, remove me from your friends.......
I only have time for motivated, healthy, positive, NON DRAMA people now. I refuse to let this petty shit get to me anymore...From here on out, I am going to do me, worry about me, take the time that Ive devoted to EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERYONE else (aside from my girls because they always come first before me), to myself...because I deserve it.
Now, I know youre saying that I look great for having 5 kids and all that but let me tell ya...try living in my body...it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about my body....*I* myself hate it....I hate the jiggly fat that hangs off...Im trying to come to grips with my stretch marks but having had disparaging comments (thanks Jesse) about them several times, having people think I was pregnant because of my pooch (trust me, even with as little as my pooch is, when I truly stick it out, it looks like im 4-5 months pregnant...which is why you ALWAYS see me sucking/holding it in)...I hate my flabby tits from breast feeding...I hate the fact that I have to wear a waist cincher to have my clothes lay without bumpyness...I hate the fact that because my sternum is raised, my breast tissue falls under my arms and have to physically move the breast tissue out from under my arms to put them down at my sides, to type, to knit, anything that you need your arms close to your sides for....I hate the fact that to get *INTO* a bra, i literally have to bend over to get all the skin, tissue and etc INTO the bra.
Ive tried all the body image self esteem affirmations but I really just can not get passed every horribly sad thing thats been said about my body...Even though in general, men seem to think Im "hot/sexy", thats not the image I want to portray anymore.............I want to be beautiful in someones eyes......and I feel like that until I'm beautiful in my OWN eyes, physically body wise, not face wise, Im not going to be happy...
Now, I know that Im a fantastic person AS A PERSON....but, the first thing people see when they look at me is S-E-X. I'm not kidding...........I cant tell you how many times, through out the day/night (whenever) I'm greeted with "hey SEXY"...not, "hey beautiful" or even "hey April."...
Anyway, thats another rants in and of itself...
This one is about the fact of me getting fit, getting healthy, feeling better, having more energy and over all becoming more physically beautiful to myself....
After I win this BeachBody Challenge, and win the money, I will be getting implants.........I had thought about getting a tummy tuck, but hopefully, with this Chalean Extreme and with the weihtloss and toning I will be doing in the next 89 days, I wont have to worry about that anymore.
I am tired to death of people telling me "THEY" dont think *I* need something.........Are YOU LIVING in *MY* body?????? Do YOU see what I see everyday???? Do you see what I go through to get dressed everyday?? No. You dont. And until you do, it doesnt matter what YOU THINK about my body, what matters is what I think...........and how I FEEL about myself...
I am not doing this challenge for anyone but myself. I am not doing this challenge to impress anyone, to get anyone to join me........if you want to join me, GREAT! contact me (or my coach - Russ Wright on here) about how!! if you dont, so be it....But Im getting healthy FOR ME...........diet (and no, i dont ACTUALLY MEAN "diet"...i mean healthy eating...fruits, veggies, no junk, no sugar, no bad fats etc), and exercise is something that you should be doing everyday anyway....When I lose weight, and people see it, one of the first things they say is "why are you trying to loose weight?", they ask "you dont need it."
Well, how do you KNOW I dont need it??? I feel healthier and happier when I dont have extra weight hnging on my bodyframe...Im relatively small...I know I seem bigger but Im really only 5'4"....And, I know it may not seem it but, I actually have PAIN in my body when i way over a certain amount.....the way someone who is extremely obese has issues with their knees and ankles? I have that...bad back? Yup, that too...less energy, you betcha...Im exhauted...and Im exhausted of looking in the mirror and seeing something nasty...my fat rolls...
I quit smoking because it was making me feel like shit....and because its bad bad bad for you........(it is, sorry smokers, but it is.).....And, my fat rolls is making me feel like shit too...I want them GONE...and my breasts fixed...I plan on talking about my Beach Body Challenge A LOT in the next several months, so, if Ya'll dont want to hear it, remove me from your friends list............Im also planning on becoming a coach for BeachBody, so if you dont want to hear about that either, remove me from your friends.......
I only have time for motivated, healthy, positive, NON DRAMA people now. I refuse to let this petty shit get to me anymore...From here on out, I am going to do me, worry about me, take the time that Ive devoted to EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERYONE else (aside from my girls because they always come first before me), to myself...because I deserve it.
November 30, 2011
unlicensed doing things wrong...
Ya know what burns my ass??? People who didnt go to school/get apprenticed and get licensed for hair/make up/tattooing/piercing and think its ok to charge to do peoples hair/tattoos/make up/piercing......that takes money away from the people who worked their asses off in school/at apprenticeships to GET licensed and do hair and make up/tattoos and piercing the LEGAL way...its just like those scratcher tattoo artists THINKING they know how to tattoo and taking money from REAL tattoo artists....if youre a person who thinks its ok to charge to do things YOU ARENT LICENSED FOR, please stop. it takes money away from those of us who KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING....
And theres a lot of logistical, theoretical and education that goes into cutting, perming, chemically altering someones hair....When youre dealing with chemicals on someones BODY, especially near their face, there are precautions you have to learn about and take...
Schooling, especially in the fields of altering someones appearance, is important...
my posting here is simply venting about how its not right/fair for people who didnt go to school to charge, there by taking money away from people who DID and are doing it the right and LEGAL way....what happens if you dont get your degree or whathaveyou in whatever it is and you fuck up someones shit? and then youre SUED? what then?
its hard out there for those of us that HAVE our licenses...look at me....Im the prime example...I charge bupkiss compared to a lot of people and I STILL dont make/get the job.............It upsets me when people who DONT really know what the hell theyre doing, who didnt go to school and learn sanitation/health and the logistical/theoretical way to do things and then they start charging...
then when I say something a long the lines of it not being right/fair/legally reprehensible, I get dismissed like it doesn't matter....when someone who isn't licensed fucks up and get into MAJOR hot water (fines and legal trouble) then its the Victims fault somehow....Ive seen it happen...When a licensed professional fucks up WE lose our licenses or get suspended....its not something to play around with and it pisses me off when people who ARENT licensed dismiss the law like its no big deal because its honestly isnt fair OR right...thats my opinion.
my whole stand point is that they DONT care and the legal ramifications don't affect them the way it should...not to mention the fact that theyre taking money away from those of us that actually went to school and did what we needed to do so that we're covered...and Im not talking about coloring a friends hair or doing their make up for a prom/wedding...Im talking about people out there that think its alright to charge for doing things they have no idea how to do...what happens if theyre coloring someones hair and something happens?? would they know how to fix it? more then likely not....what if theyre relaxing hair and they burn someone (because that CAN happen) would they know what to do??? Id wager a guess they wouldnt.
So, this is just something that bothers me right down to my core.
And theres a lot of logistical, theoretical and education that goes into cutting, perming, chemically altering someones hair....When youre dealing with chemicals on someones BODY, especially near their face, there are precautions you have to learn about and take...
Schooling, especially in the fields of altering someones appearance, is important...
my posting here is simply venting about how its not right/fair for people who didnt go to school to charge, there by taking money away from people who DID and are doing it the right and LEGAL way....what happens if you dont get your degree or whathaveyou in whatever it is and you fuck up someones shit? and then youre SUED? what then?
its hard out there for those of us that HAVE our licenses...look at me....Im the prime example...I charge bupkiss compared to a lot of people and I STILL dont make/get the job.............It upsets me when people who DONT really know what the hell theyre doing, who didnt go to school and learn sanitation/health and the logistical/theoretical way to do things and then they start charging...
then when I say something a long the lines of it not being right/fair/legally reprehensible, I get dismissed like it doesn't matter....when someone who isn't licensed fucks up and get into MAJOR hot water (fines and legal trouble) then its the Victims fault somehow....Ive seen it happen...When a licensed professional fucks up WE lose our licenses or get suspended....its not something to play around with and it pisses me off when people who ARENT licensed dismiss the law like its no big deal because its honestly isnt fair OR right...thats my opinion.
my whole stand point is that they DONT care and the legal ramifications don't affect them the way it should...not to mention the fact that theyre taking money away from those of us that actually went to school and did what we needed to do so that we're covered...and Im not talking about coloring a friends hair or doing their make up for a prom/wedding...Im talking about people out there that think its alright to charge for doing things they have no idea how to do...what happens if theyre coloring someones hair and something happens?? would they know how to fix it? more then likely not....what if theyre relaxing hair and they burn someone (because that CAN happen) would they know what to do??? Id wager a guess they wouldnt.
So, this is just something that bothers me right down to my core.
November 19, 2011
My thoughts on Guns
Recently, I was in a discussion about guns and the fact that laws were passed that make it legal to carry concealed. I replied that it will make it even more dangerous to go out into public, especially here in Rhode Island where all the crazies are...If you look at them in a way that they don't like, which is common in the area that I live in, they'll whip it out and BAM, youre dead.
The argument was that "law abiding citizens" know the rules and yada yada.........My argument is.....WHO decides who the law abiding citizens are? What makes them think that said "law abiding citizens" ARE such? Why, because they have no criminal background? No gun charges? Nothing like that? Why, because their credit is squeaky clean?
Im not apologetic for feeling the way that I do about guns and get highly pissed when people try to argue and say that I'm WRONG for my opinion..........I have seen, with my OWN EYES, situations with guns killing people first hand that MAKES ME HAVE these feelings....and then they make excuses about how "guns dont kill people, but people kill people"....OR "oh, well that was an irresponsible gun owner, he shouldnt have done x,y and z".....Sometimes even X,Y and Z can get screwed up and GUNS end up in the wrong hands (i.e. a 2 yr old little boy that shoots himself)...GUN ARE DANGEROUS...................and im fucking TIRED AS HELL of people telling me IM WRONG for the way that I feel about this....
I love how in this particular discussion, someone who doesn't know ME or what Ive been through or SEEN, made the judgement call and said that I should "keep on drinking the kool-aid" of the "Anit-gun morons"...........First of all, I am not a fundamental Christian.....I don't FOLLOW what the "anti-gun morons" do. I am Wiccan. I believe in "'An it harm NONE..." Guns are included in that. I believe that guns are used to HARM PEOPLE. Therefore, it goes against my very nature and beliefs to believe in them. Law abiding or not.
And I resent the fact that the gun toting individuals that are on my page scream at me, rant and rave and flip out for MY beliefs. I don't scream and rant and rave at THEM for carrying, or liking guns...............I respect their opinion and respect their right to bear arms if they want to....Its their RIGHT too...........BUT I DONT HAVE TO FUCKING LIKE IT, nor do I make them feel, or, well, TRY to make them feel bad or wrong for their beliefs like this one particular douche-bag did by saying that I should "keep drinking the kool-aid"...........hey dude, FUCK YOU.
When I was enlisting in the Army, its something that I struggled with everyday that I was going to have to carry one. Would I have? Of course, because I would have been fighting for my country and it was required of me... Would I have liked it? Hell no.... FUCK no even.... I would have hated it and even chose an MOS that I didn't HAVE to carry one for. And, fate decided that I wasn't to be in the Army so I wouldn't have to sacrifice my beliefs or my morals...
My belief is that guns should not exist. Period. And if they have to exist, take every single gun off the street, out of homes and only make it so our armed forces (Police officers included) have them.
How many accidents have happened with "law abiding citizens'" guns?
In the U.S. for 2006, there were 30,896 deaths from firearms, distributed as follows by mode of death:
Suicide 16,883
Homicide 12,791
Accident 642
Legal Intervention 360
Undetermined 220.
This makes firearms injuries one of the top ten causes of death in the U.S. The number of firearms-related injuries in the U.S., both fatal and non-fatal, increased through 1993, declined to 1999, and has remained relatively constant since. However, firearms injuries remain a leading cause of death in the U.S., particularly among youth...
The number of firearms injuries remains high in the United States, compared with most of the rest of the world. Firearm suicide rates are strongly impacted by the rate of gun ownership...(LAW ABIDING OR NOT) There is a positive correlation between homicide rates and availability of guns in developed nations. The number of firearms in the hands of private citizens (again, law abiding or NOT) continues to grow each year at a rate far exceeding that of the population as a whole. It might even be said that Americans live in a "gun culture" based upon traditions and behaviors well-entrenched in our society. This is reflected in our constitution, whose second amendment guarantees that "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." Though the application of this amendment applied to maintenance of a militia, and not private gun ownership, the second amendment has been consistently interpreted to protect private ownership of many types of guns.
Child safety is also an important issue. Firearms injuries are the second leading cause of non-natural death in childhood and adolescence. Accidental shooting deaths are most commonly associated with one or more children playing with a gun they found in the home. The person pulling the trigger is a friend, family member, or the victim. A study of nonnatural deaths in a large American city revealed that half of such deaths in persons from 10 to 19 years of age were due to homicide, and firearms were involved in 88% of them............and yet Guns arent dangerous and yet, Im WRONG for my feelings and my beliefs.
The argument was that "law abiding citizens" know the rules and yada yada.........My argument is.....WHO decides who the law abiding citizens are? What makes them think that said "law abiding citizens" ARE such? Why, because they have no criminal background? No gun charges? Nothing like that? Why, because their credit is squeaky clean?
Im not apologetic for feeling the way that I do about guns and get highly pissed when people try to argue and say that I'm WRONG for my opinion..........I have seen, with my OWN EYES, situations with guns killing people first hand that MAKES ME HAVE these feelings....and then they make excuses about how "guns dont kill people, but people kill people"....OR "oh, well that was an irresponsible gun owner, he shouldnt have done x,y and z".....Sometimes even X,Y and Z can get screwed up and GUNS end up in the wrong hands (i.e. a 2 yr old little boy that shoots himself)...GUN ARE DANGEROUS...................and im fucking TIRED AS HELL of people telling me IM WRONG for the way that I feel about this....
I love how in this particular discussion, someone who doesn't know ME or what Ive been through or SEEN, made the judgement call and said that I should "keep on drinking the kool-aid" of the "Anit-gun morons"...........First of all, I am not a fundamental Christian.....I don't FOLLOW what the "anti-gun morons" do. I am Wiccan. I believe in "'An it harm NONE..." Guns are included in that. I believe that guns are used to HARM PEOPLE. Therefore, it goes against my very nature and beliefs to believe in them. Law abiding or not.
And I resent the fact that the gun toting individuals that are on my page scream at me, rant and rave and flip out for MY beliefs. I don't scream and rant and rave at THEM for carrying, or liking guns...............I respect their opinion and respect their right to bear arms if they want to....Its their RIGHT too...........BUT I DONT HAVE TO FUCKING LIKE IT, nor do I make them feel, or, well, TRY to make them feel bad or wrong for their beliefs like this one particular douche-bag did by saying that I should "keep drinking the kool-aid"...........hey dude, FUCK YOU.
When I was enlisting in the Army, its something that I struggled with everyday that I was going to have to carry one. Would I have? Of course, because I would have been fighting for my country and it was required of me... Would I have liked it? Hell no.... FUCK no even.... I would have hated it and even chose an MOS that I didn't HAVE to carry one for. And, fate decided that I wasn't to be in the Army so I wouldn't have to sacrifice my beliefs or my morals...
My belief is that guns should not exist. Period. And if they have to exist, take every single gun off the street, out of homes and only make it so our armed forces (Police officers included) have them.
How many accidents have happened with "law abiding citizens'" guns?
In the U.S. for 2006, there were 30,896 deaths from firearms, distributed as follows by mode of death:
Suicide 16,883
Homicide 12,791
Accident 642
Legal Intervention 360
Undetermined 220.
This makes firearms injuries one of the top ten causes of death in the U.S. The number of firearms-related injuries in the U.S., both fatal and non-fatal, increased through 1993, declined to 1999, and has remained relatively constant since. However, firearms injuries remain a leading cause of death in the U.S., particularly among youth...
The number of firearms injuries remains high in the United States, compared with most of the rest of the world. Firearm suicide rates are strongly impacted by the rate of gun ownership...(LAW ABIDING OR NOT) There is a positive correlation between homicide rates and availability of guns in developed nations. The number of firearms in the hands of private citizens (again, law abiding or NOT) continues to grow each year at a rate far exceeding that of the population as a whole. It might even be said that Americans live in a "gun culture" based upon traditions and behaviors well-entrenched in our society. This is reflected in our constitution, whose second amendment guarantees that "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed." Though the application of this amendment applied to maintenance of a militia, and not private gun ownership, the second amendment has been consistently interpreted to protect private ownership of many types of guns.
Child safety is also an important issue. Firearms injuries are the second leading cause of non-natural death in childhood and adolescence. Accidental shooting deaths are most commonly associated with one or more children playing with a gun they found in the home. The person pulling the trigger is a friend, family member, or the victim. A study of nonnatural deaths in a large American city revealed that half of such deaths in persons from 10 to 19 years of age were due to homicide, and firearms were involved in 88% of them............and yet Guns arent dangerous and yet, Im WRONG for my feelings and my beliefs.
November 07, 2011
Time flies and my opinion on parenting
I was looking at the girls' baby books the other night, reading what I wrote about their babyhoods...
I checked on them before I went to bed the other night, shortly after reading the books and its amazing to me that in 8 years, Lilia will be 17 and driving, Holli will be 15, and Julia, at this point, will be almost 14...Its scary that Ill be able to leave them at home alone if I need to and wont need to worry about a babysitter...Its a scary thought to me, that as they age, they wont need me like they do now and will be able to do a vast majority of stuff alone and on their own...
I cant even picture them grown. But, Lilia was standing in the kitchen the other day, and I looked at her from a distance, sitting on the couch, and was blown away by the fact that shell be 9 next month...8 more years and shell be 17, able to drive (if i let her!! UGHHHHHHHH!!!! maybe Ill make her wait...) and hopefully be either graduated from H.S. or gettnig ready to...
I love my children SO much it hurts sometimes...I look at them every day and am amazed by their beauty, their smarts and their unbelievable good hearts...I was telling a friend of mine that they have all inherited things and traits from Cameron that make me so proud...
Lilia has the Champion Spirit and heart...She wants to do for everyone...Just like Cameron...Shes great with kids and loves babies and animals...
Holli has his beauty, his happiness, his contentment...She looks SO much like him, its scary...Just in a more feminine way...Shes my goofy gorgeous funny girl...my continuous reminder of what her father was, and that he continues to live on through her, and all of them...
Julia has the more mischievous side of him to her...his sillyness, his tenderness and that "look" in her eyes that he would get when he was "plottin'" something... LOL
I cant IMAGINE my life without them in it...They have saved me on so many occasions I cant even count in my sanity and missing Cameron...There have been so many times that Ive wanted to give up, give in, and do it, just so that I could join him in Summerland because I miss him JUST THAT MUCH...........But one laugh, one victory for them, one HUG from one of them is all it takes to bring me right back to the ground and remember that I HAVE to live....FOR THEM......I cant do that to them, I cant leave them and leave them parent-less...And they save me once again...
I look forward to the days that they learn to drive (*GULP*), go to college and graduate (or whatever they choose to do), meet someone and fall in love...get married...
I look forward to day when they (and their husband *hopefully*) announce they are pregnant...when they tell me they are in labor...and when I hold my grandchild for the first time...
I look forward to seeing them become successful in whatever they do...
I am so lucky to have them and be their Mom...I love them so damn much, it seriously hurts sometimes...
Reading through their Baby Books the other night, and remembering when they were babies, it makes me wonder how I see all OVER the internet (and tv) about how mother hood is "tough"....Now, I'm not saying that its not, but, I have a totally different take on things.....I have been completely blessed with awesome children... and, when they were younger, babies.......ALL of my girls were awesome babies....Holli and Julia slept through the night pretty much from the beginning and Lilia was 2 1/2 months when she started...Julia was a bit fussy but yea, most babies are and thats to be expected...I had a few episodes of projectile vomiting with Lilia and with Julia...but I cleaned it up, cleaned them up and trudged on...Being a mother to me was what Ive always wanted so to have a few bumps in the road was to be completely expected....I never had the sleepless nights.....Well, I *DID* but that was only after Cameron passed away...the sleepness nights werent part of the motherhood thing....
I dont understand how some parents will bithc and complain and whine about "not having any sleep" or spit up stained clothes or smelly diapers....if you didnt want to have to deal with that, WHY HAVE KIDS?!Im sorry if this upsets most of my parent friends but I am frankly tired of seeing it all over the internet that parenting is hard...ITS really NOT that bad.
Im not saying that there werent some *brief* periods of time where they WERE terrors...but, literally, it WAS brief...I didnt freak out, I didnt lose it and start complaining that my kids are horrible, my kids are this, my kids are that....Im a parent. I deal with things beCAUSE Im a parent...I knew that certain things come with the territory of being a parent...
Now that my girls are older, I *RARELY* have a problem with the girls...I can take them anywhere, we can go out to eat and they act like ladies...When I go somewhere and they start meandering off, alls I have to do is snap my fingers, give them a look and theyre back at my side...People cant believe, and will compliment, on how well behaved they are...
I guess its because I have been *SO* in their lives, teaching them...talking to them...I dont talk to them as *kids* per se, unless its something that they need kid terms in, but, Im of the opinion that kids are not stupid and they quite well understand whats going on around them...
And maybe, because they lost their father SO young, its given them a different view on life. I hug them constantly, give them kisses and praise them on a continual basis...I dont talk down to them, cause again, they ARENT stupid and understand...Im very much a Natural attachment parent...I dont withhold affection and if they want attention of some sort, I give it to them willingly and with all the love in my heart.
I guess I also dont want them to have the kind of childhood that I did....fearful, afraid, worried and timid...My mother never gave me the love that I needed so when I had Lilia, I made the decision to give them everything that I could...
Now, Im *NOT* saying that some parents DONT have it hard...there are plenty out there that do. And my heart goes out to those that do....but, Im tired of reading story after story (mainly teen mom and other such shows) that say "being a parent is *sooooooo* HARD!!!"...
Cause in my opinion, its not.
I checked on them before I went to bed the other night, shortly after reading the books and its amazing to me that in 8 years, Lilia will be 17 and driving, Holli will be 15, and Julia, at this point, will be almost 14...Its scary that Ill be able to leave them at home alone if I need to and wont need to worry about a babysitter...Its a scary thought to me, that as they age, they wont need me like they do now and will be able to do a vast majority of stuff alone and on their own...
I cant even picture them grown. But, Lilia was standing in the kitchen the other day, and I looked at her from a distance, sitting on the couch, and was blown away by the fact that shell be 9 next month...8 more years and shell be 17, able to drive (if i let her!! UGHHHHHHHH!!!! maybe Ill make her wait...) and hopefully be either graduated from H.S. or gettnig ready to...
I love my children SO much it hurts sometimes...I look at them every day and am amazed by their beauty, their smarts and their unbelievable good hearts...I was telling a friend of mine that they have all inherited things and traits from Cameron that make me so proud...
Lilia has the Champion Spirit and heart...She wants to do for everyone...Just like Cameron...Shes great with kids and loves babies and animals...
Holli has his beauty, his happiness, his contentment...She looks SO much like him, its scary...Just in a more feminine way...Shes my goofy gorgeous funny girl...my continuous reminder of what her father was, and that he continues to live on through her, and all of them...
Julia has the more mischievous side of him to her...his sillyness, his tenderness and that "look" in her eyes that he would get when he was "plottin'" something... LOL
I cant IMAGINE my life without them in it...They have saved me on so many occasions I cant even count in my sanity and missing Cameron...There have been so many times that Ive wanted to give up, give in, and do it, just so that I could join him in Summerland because I miss him JUST THAT MUCH...........But one laugh, one victory for them, one HUG from one of them is all it takes to bring me right back to the ground and remember that I HAVE to live....FOR THEM......I cant do that to them, I cant leave them and leave them parent-less...And they save me once again...
I look forward to the days that they learn to drive (*GULP*), go to college and graduate (or whatever they choose to do), meet someone and fall in love...get married...
I look forward to day when they (and their husband *hopefully*) announce they are pregnant...when they tell me they are in labor...and when I hold my grandchild for the first time...
I look forward to seeing them become successful in whatever they do...
I am so lucky to have them and be their Mom...I love them so damn much, it seriously hurts sometimes...
Reading through their Baby Books the other night, and remembering when they were babies, it makes me wonder how I see all OVER the internet (and tv) about how mother hood is "tough"....Now, I'm not saying that its not, but, I have a totally different take on things.....I have been completely blessed with awesome children... and, when they were younger, babies.......ALL of my girls were awesome babies....Holli and Julia slept through the night pretty much from the beginning and Lilia was 2 1/2 months when she started...Julia was a bit fussy but yea, most babies are and thats to be expected...I had a few episodes of projectile vomiting with Lilia and with Julia...but I cleaned it up, cleaned them up and trudged on...Being a mother to me was what Ive always wanted so to have a few bumps in the road was to be completely expected....I never had the sleepless nights.....Well, I *DID* but that was only after Cameron passed away...the sleepness nights werent part of the motherhood thing....
I dont understand how some parents will bithc and complain and whine about "not having any sleep" or spit up stained clothes or smelly diapers....if you didnt want to have to deal with that, WHY HAVE KIDS?!Im sorry if this upsets most of my parent friends but I am frankly tired of seeing it all over the internet that parenting is hard...ITS really NOT that bad.
Im not saying that there werent some *brief* periods of time where they WERE terrors...but, literally, it WAS brief...I didnt freak out, I didnt lose it and start complaining that my kids are horrible, my kids are this, my kids are that....Im a parent. I deal with things beCAUSE Im a parent...I knew that certain things come with the territory of being a parent...
Now that my girls are older, I *RARELY* have a problem with the girls...I can take them anywhere, we can go out to eat and they act like ladies...When I go somewhere and they start meandering off, alls I have to do is snap my fingers, give them a look and theyre back at my side...People cant believe, and will compliment, on how well behaved they are...
I guess its because I have been *SO* in their lives, teaching them...talking to them...I dont talk to them as *kids* per se, unless its something that they need kid terms in, but, Im of the opinion that kids are not stupid and they quite well understand whats going on around them...
And maybe, because they lost their father SO young, its given them a different view on life. I hug them constantly, give them kisses and praise them on a continual basis...I dont talk down to them, cause again, they ARENT stupid and understand...Im very much a Natural attachment parent...I dont withhold affection and if they want attention of some sort, I give it to them willingly and with all the love in my heart.
I guess I also dont want them to have the kind of childhood that I did....fearful, afraid, worried and timid...My mother never gave me the love that I needed so when I had Lilia, I made the decision to give them everything that I could...
Now, Im *NOT* saying that some parents DONT have it hard...there are plenty out there that do. And my heart goes out to those that do....but, Im tired of reading story after story (mainly teen mom and other such shows) that say "being a parent is *sooooooo* HARD!!!"...
Cause in my opinion, its not.
November 04, 2011
One sided Friendships...
Double crap on a stick.ok, seriously now.....One of my witnesses for Monday just had something come up and I NEED one of my "friends" to help me out here...The one who actually stepped up but then who had to cancel barely knows me and STILL said shed do it (before she had to cancel due to conflicting schedules)...I find it really hard to believe that out of EVERYONE of my friends on my "friends" list in Rhode Island, out of EVERYONE that think s I'm SO awesome, NO ONE is willing to fucking help me.....NO ONE can take a simple couple of hours out of their day to help me??? If someone asked ME to help, I totally would, because ya know, thats the kinda GOOD friend I am...
Yea, dont ask ME for anymore favors because Ill tell ya to go kick rocks....Im done with being on the shitty receiving end of the one-sided-part-time-only-when-YOU-want-something friend.
And people wonder why I want to get out of this fucking state and go home to where my REAL TRUE honest to god friends are.......of all my "friends" on this site that live here, they only reach out to me when THEY want something and cant help when *I* actually need something...I NEVER ask for help. I asked for help for somewhere to bury my poor guinea pig that died yesterday and NOT ONE of you reached out with at least an IM SORRY....we lost a fucking pet and everyone stayed silent....
I cant believe with all the positivity that I spread, with all the motivational crap that I post, all the comments I leave, all the time I take out of my day to reach out to "friends", all the free hair cuts, free make up, free this, free that....All the everything that Ive ever done for someone and ask for NOTHING in return and I get nothing when Ive asked for help..............Im beginning to realize that with the EXCEPTION of a few people, NONE of you are actually "FRIENDS"..............You're acquaintances...If that pisses you off, Im sorry.
Actually, no, Im not. Ive just had it with everyone who claims to be my friend and who thinks that Im this awesome woman and blah blah blah....All's I hear is "ONESIDEDFRIENDSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPP"...
So....from this moment on, I will be KEEPING people that I believe to be ONLY MY TRUE HONEST TO GODDESS FRIENDS...Who have actually done for me, been there for me, as I have for them...
If ya dont like it, you can kiss my ass...
Im fucking done.
Yea, dont ask ME for anymore favors because Ill tell ya to go kick rocks....Im done with being on the shitty receiving end of the one-sided-part-time-only-when-YOU-want-something friend.
And people wonder why I want to get out of this fucking state and go home to where my REAL TRUE honest to god friends are.......of all my "friends" on this site that live here, they only reach out to me when THEY want something and cant help when *I* actually need something...I NEVER ask for help. I asked for help for somewhere to bury my poor guinea pig that died yesterday and NOT ONE of you reached out with at least an IM SORRY....we lost a fucking pet and everyone stayed silent....
I cant believe with all the positivity that I spread, with all the motivational crap that I post, all the comments I leave, all the time I take out of my day to reach out to "friends", all the free hair cuts, free make up, free this, free that....All the everything that Ive ever done for someone and ask for NOTHING in return and I get nothing when Ive asked for help..............Im beginning to realize that with the EXCEPTION of a few people, NONE of you are actually "FRIENDS"..............You're acquaintances...If that pisses you off, Im sorry.
Actually, no, Im not. Ive just had it with everyone who claims to be my friend and who thinks that Im this awesome woman and blah blah blah....All's I hear is "ONESIDEDFRIENDSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPP"...
So....from this moment on, I will be KEEPING people that I believe to be ONLY MY TRUE HONEST TO GODDESS FRIENDS...Who have actually done for me, been there for me, as I have for them...
If ya dont like it, you can kiss my ass...
Im fucking done.
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