So, its after dinner, the girls are playing, Dave is on his computer and I am on mine...I was scrolling around on the internet and I happened to type in "positive affirmations" which I do alot...This particular website popped up - http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/
I was scrolling around there and this article popped up that I felt that alot of people could read and benefit from that I am going to paste here. It really resounded in my mind and thought I should share it:
Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events, over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy. Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward.
It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this we must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behavior, simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.
Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go. They will never move on until they do. In fact quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.
How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life. If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction. If however we focus on the bad things that have happened to us then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.
If you or your life is "stuck", then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past. Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself. So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself and let it go.
Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past. In this moment now, you have your power, the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference. You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future.
If you want to feel free, released from the past then you must forgive. Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem and may well be completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions and it is OK to experience them. However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.
Look around you. Do you know anyone like that? Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life's little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.
It is not the events of life but how we respond to them that defines the joy and success of our lives.
That pagraph is direly important in forgiveness. A lot of people doubt that me and Dave will make it based on what we've been through. However, I have forgiven him and moved on past the issues that we had. During the 6 months we were apart, I had time to work through the issues that I had, the problems that arose between us, of which was caused by an ex-friend that I had that lived with us for 7 months. She was extremely bitter and was going through turmoil on her own and I realized that she hadn't forgiven herself or others for a lot of the injustices that she herself went through. And as far as I know, still hasn't. She very nearly destroyed me and Dave's marriage and once she moved out and we separated, I found myself, a couple of months after him leaving, missing him, but, because of my own pride, and my own hurts and "injustices" that I felt he put me through, I wouldnt allow myself to forgive him and move onto FIXING what the problems were...until I basically ended my friendship with HER because SHE was who was keeping me down.
She was one of these people that *always* had drama in her life...always wanted to dwell on the past instead of moving on like she should. After I stopped talking to her, I had time to clear my head of all the icky-ness that she would spew onto me and really feel the forgiveness that my heart was desperately fighting to feel and go through for him.
The paragraph states that the past can never be changed. And its true. What we went through in the past, should not go with us into the future because it can hold us back. And after i forgave Dave, AND myself for that matter, all the bad that we had, went away. Its as if it never happened because I moved on and FORGOT it because I forgave him.
IT says that if you want to be free, released from the past, that you must forgive.
And I do. I forgive my mother for all the hurt she caused...I forgive all the people that have intentionally hurt me through out the years...I know now that its only because they had demons they were chasing themselves so felt that they needed to bully or batter other people in order to feel good about themselves...I forgive them. I forgive Dave. I forgive, yes, even the toxic ex friend, because she doesn't realize what shes doing. I forgive Cameron for dying...he just couldn't fight anymore...I forgive my ex husband because he had a sickness that wouldn't keep him out of jail....And last but not least, I forgive myself for all the hurt that Ive caused myself for not forgiving other people...
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