Gotta love public schools...

So, I just got validation on home schooling my children today as I was watching a video of a family that I follow on youtube....The son is in 2nd grade (hes the same age as Lilia) and didnt know that 5+3 = 8....he said it was nine...even though he had a $5 bill and three $1 dollar bills sitting right in front of him....His father counted them for him.............GOTTA LOVE PUBLIC SCHOOLS!!!!!!!!!!! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!)

Seriously, I feel complete vindication on this now....I also found this awesome article entitled: "Don't underestimate Your Value as a Mother" in which a homeschooling mother talks about what a mother has to offer her children if she homeschools and I completely agree with every point she has to say:

1. You will be giving your child attention from someone who truly cares about their success beyond passing an arbitrary test.

I absolutely believe this...I dont test my children, giving them undue stress and fear that they "HAVE" to pass or get a good grade...I can tell from their progress if they are "getting" a topic or not...


2. Your kids will be learning at their own pace. You will learn how to gage their progress and move slower or faster based on their needs.

Again, I agree...I tell them both every day not to try to compete with each other because this one is doing that or that one is doing this....They are their own person and they will learn at their own paces...When they get something, we move on faster...if they dont, we stay on it longer...theres no time limit in home schooling...

3. You will be looking out for their best interest rather than trying to do what is best for the whole group.


Absolutely I do.


4. You will be helping them to make positive memories surrounding learning activities.

Lilia has told me on more then one occasion that she loves the time we spend together in homeschooling and how I teach her...:-) Thats validation in and of itself right there.


5. You will provide them with a low stress learning environment including a balanced view on life, work and play.

Yup...Not every day is book work...not everyday is sitting at a desk/table with their noses stuck in a book...Every day is something new...whether its teaching them grocery shopping, or doing laundry, or even cooking (Lilia can cook many things that a non homeschooled child can cook, I guarantee), I am always teaching them something...When we're out driving, we talk about nature (science) or the surroundings around us (Social Studies) and government (History)....These I believe are low stress...and they love it...

6. You will be there to give them guidance as problems arise.

As I said earlier...if they dont seem to be getting something, we stay on it longer...and if I dont have the answers myself, I seek them out...

7. Your kids will have time to be a kid.

Something I tell them every single day..."BE a KID! One day you'll grow up WISHING that you had this time back...."....Being home-schooled, they aren't subjected to school violence, bullying, teen pregnancy and drugs...they are home, safe and sound in a home whose mother tries everything in her power to protect them from even violence on TV.

8. You will be there to love them. They may even see the sacrifice that you make in your personal life to provide them with an education.

I don't personally feel that I make sacrifices in my personal life to home-school them. I honestly feel very rewarded when I see my girls excel at a math problem, or help each other with their work...Home schooling is rewarding for us and I honestly feel like its the way things should be....Having been on both sides of the coin (home-schooled AND public school) I honestly believe that homeschooling is more rewarding more beneficial...Its a known fact that home-schooled children excel in life faster, and are better educated then public schooled children because public school is behind because they have SO many children to teach...and if certain kids dont "GET" it or just dont excel, they're held BACK and made to feel badly...Thats just wrong...I was in kindergarten twice...Why I'm not exactly sure....they said it was because of my age but all my life, I swear that it was something else and no one ever told me why...When I was in 6th grade, because I was having so many personal at HOME problems, I nearly flunked out and my mother berated me....I HATED school...Then, in tenth grade, I went some where that homeschooling was taught....I loved it...I excelled!!! For the first time in my life, I was getting straight A's and B's!!!I flew through 10, 11th and most of 12th in two years, 3 months. I loved it....

One question that I get asked a lot is how my children are socialized...Well, with my family down in NJ that is EXTREMELY well known in Mullica Hill and has connections and friends and associates and such ALL OVER the county, and go to church EVERY Sunday, as well as friends here that are children of MY friends that have play dates together, Socialization is NOT an issue for them....My children have EXTREMELY good manners, say please and thank you, ask to be excused from the table and put their plates in the sink when they are finished...They have none of the bad manners that most children (and i say MOST not all) their age have from public school...

What helps me in this endeavor is that friends of my in-laws have home-schooled ALL of their children and they see how well rounded their children are. My in-laws help when my girls are down there and support my decision to home-school...

To read the complete article that I quoted above go here: http://www.homeschooljungle.com/2010/10/dont-underestimate-your-value-as-a-mother/

I adore her posts and read them often.

Stuff About Me...

I'm the girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you...

I'm the girl who likes to be kissed in the rain, more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive restaurant...

I'm the girl who says,"Ok, but you owe me..." jokingly not because I actually want something, but because it means I get to spend more time with you...

I'm the girl you can take absolutely anywhere and I will (or at least try to) have fun because it means I am spending time with you...

I'm the girl who is incredibly picky, but when I find someone I like I want to spend the whole night curled up in their arms...

I'm the girl who never forgets all the sweet little things you do for me...

I'm the girl who actually keeps her body parts in her clothing in public... most of the time

I'm the girl who never gives up hope even when I tell others I have...

I'm the girl who once I let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it. And even if we spend time apart, I'm the girl who never forgets you.

I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...

I'm the girl who you can talk to about anything...

I'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...

I'm the girl who will have many inside jokes with you and will remember each one...

I'm the girl who will brag about you to all of my friends...

I'm the girl who will listen to you talk...

I'm the girl who really does want to be friends after a break up...

I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me for no apparent reason...

I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind or kiss me on the forehead.....

I'm the girl who loves you for you, and doesn't care what other people say about us...

I'm the girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend...

I'm the girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a
word...

I'm the girl who loves you to play with my hair

I'm the girl that loves to snuggle in your arms at night even if we dont make love...

I'm the girl that will do all kinds of sweet things for you without wanting anything in return...

I'm the girl who won’t fall asleep during long car rides and will stay awake so we can talk about anything under the sun....

I believe in love at first site...

I believe that things should come naturally in a relationship...anything that comes out of force isn’t good...

When it comes to things in the past, let them stay buried...they are in the past for a reason...Ill tell you about them if i want you to know...and if i trust you enough to know....

I believe that the man and woman are equals in a relationship...

I believe in reincarnation and that we all come back in the life we're in until we get it right....

I believe that when we die, we become one with the universe, the elements, the grass the sky the birds etc...

I dont believe in Heaven or Hell

I dont believe there is a Satan or Devil or evil...

I believe you should be able to live your life how YOU want to live it, not how anyone else thinks you should live it...

Being romantic and bringing me ONE of my favorite flowers, not a whole dozen...will win my heart more then the dozen will...I prefer simplicity with some things....**HINT** my favorite flowers are Calla Lilies

Open the door for me occasionally...I may believe we're equals but dammit, sometimes I like that...I'll let you know when i want it...

Wake me gently with kisses all over my face and play with my hair....

Cook me a meal with all your heart...doesn’t matter if its French toast, bacon and eggs or just a cheese sandwich….Ill appreciate it so much more knowing you cooked/made it FOR me...

Hold me in your arms and kiss me gently on the forehead while we sit on the couch watching movies...

Just because I kiss and nuzzle and want a hug, DOESNT mean i want sex all the time...if it happens to LEAD to that, that’s fine but sometimes i just need affection....

Hold my hand while we're driving...It makes me happy to know you’re there with me..

Laugh at my corny goofiness even when its not that funny to you...that makes me feel like you support me even when you dont understand the joke

Be there for me when i need to cry even if you're uncomfortable with it...sometimes i just need someone to hold me and tell me "everything will be ok..." even if you arent sure it will be...

Go for walks with me just to talk...i love the togetherness

I love fall...i love the changing colors, the weather, the smell in the air

I love spring...new life starting, the trees starting to bloom....the weather, the smell in the air

I love to sing...singing is my release from stress, being upset etc...When i tell you i need to sing, its cause i need to release something pent up inside...

I write poems, songs and short stories....and they are really good
I paint...

I am a very positive person...I try not to bring negativity into my home and all negative people and things and happenings are prohibited here...

I am generally a very happy person...

I love all my friends with all my heart and am appreciative of all of them

One week from today...

Is Thanksgiving...I have damn near everything that Im going to need for it and Im wicked excited. I have friends coming over for it and like last year, it will really feel awesome to have people to cook for BESIDES my girls that will actually eat it...I figured out how I'm going to cook everything to....Ham in at 11:00, out at 1:00 PM Turkey in immediately after out at 4 to allow to cool (so I don't burn my fingers cutting it) then between 4 and 5 cooking anything that needs to be cooked....I never understood the whole thing behind why people have thanksgiving dinners in the middle of the day...Growing up, dinners were always at 3 PM....Really!?? WHY?!? Because I don't know about the rest of the world but WE eat dinner at 5 to 6 PM most nights...WHY would I change it to 3 PM for one day??? Its bizarre....

Yes, we snack...I always put out pepperoni, cheese, crackers, and a veggie tray to "snick snack" on, but we don't eat until 5 PM...I never understood the whole early day thing...if someone can explain it to me, Id be happy to listen.

One month from today......

Will be two days after the 5th anniversary of Cameron's death....today is one month to the day of having the autopsy done on his beat up body...Its around this time every year that I get melancholy, sad.... forlorn and in mourning and grief...I distinctly remember him telling me many times when we would be fighting and I would be crying..."Babe, don't cry...I'm not worth crying over........" But, I cant help it.......

Sometimes, still to this day, the girls will do something cute/sweet/adorable/what-have-you and the first thing I think to myself is..."I want to call Cam.........Oh, wait a minute...." and I remember...But, then I also think in the very next thought how he's always with us....or his family....Whatever he's doing on the other side, I KNOW he's watching over us...coming for visits...I know because I feel his presence...it doesn't matter how long hes gone....When he's here, our souls connect...I dream about him, feel him.......can almost feel him standing behind me in just pure split seconds of moments...Other times, I still feel moments where I feel like hes just off somewhere, doing his thing and that he'll walk in the door at any second....Ill hear certain things and think is him, see his face in other people...our girls.....and I DESPERATELY want to have him in my arms again........

And I'm still hopelessly in love with him. I still love him. I will NEVER be able to let him go. I feel almost as if, if I let him go, it will be like, I'm forgetting him, not honoring him, remembering him...Almost 5 years later and I'm still devastated by this whole thing....still miss him terribly...Still have his pictures everywhere...I know I remarried and all, and I know that I spent a large chunk of the last 4 years with that person.......but, I never moved on from him. And I never will. I miss him, I still love him...there is no way that I will ever stop. Ever.

This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to endure and it being 5 years later and I'm still not "over" it.......is surprising.......though, I have to admit that I'm a lot further then I thought I would be. I thought for sure that I would be "over" it in a short time, just like I was over everything else in my life that has ever happened to me..........Not this....I will never completely be over him....Better, but not over. Always in love with him...

So, Je T'aime Mon Cheri, Forever and Always...Now and forever....Where ever you are.........I miss you...

UGHHHHHH TELEMARKETERSSSSSSSS!!!!

So, This morning, I answered a phone call because it said "TEXAS" on my caller ID...Automatically I thought of my friend down there so, I answered...........BIG MISTAKE...I was on the phone with them for all of about 5 to 10 minutes MAYBE...I finally got tired of all the questions.

In the last 15 minutes since hanging up on them, Ive gotten two more phone calls....GOD SAVE ME, I should NOT have answered the Texas phone call...Now I have a feeling that I am going to be getting phone calls all day....Good thing that I have laundry to do today...

I went shopping yesterday for all of the thanksgiving stuff for our feast. I got the veggies, the ham, the turkey, the potatoes (both white and sweet for the candied yams) and stuff for the desserts. I'm really excited about thanksgiving this year for some reason...I don't know why.

My decorations go up in about three weeks on the 4th of December. I cant believe that its already November again...Where the hell did the time go? Seems like only yesterday Thomas was being born and me and Kim were planning the holidays. How times change. Nuts that its almost Yule again and how much things have changed in this house in the last year...Last year I had just swore in to Enlist....Last year Kim and her kids were here...Last year I was (somewhat) happily(ish) married...Now, Im not going...Kims gone and Im divorced...Ive had my heart broken, my emotions played with, anger boiled up and subsided...My new years resolution last year was to lose weight and quit smoking....I have no idea what this years is going to be because I did that. Ive been smoke free for a year and I lost the weight that I needed/wanted to lose...(most of it anyway)....Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Im really going to have to think about it.

Maybe this year will be to finish the sewing and dressmaking course, buy a mannequin and actually make a dress or something. We'll see...

So today...

I woke up to the first snow of the season...Really?! It wasnt much but it remains that we have some how skipped over fall completely and went head first into Winter...And this should be a tell tale sign of how brutal this season will be...

I took my girls out to the store to get some food and low and behold, it was so cold, I am glad that I layered them and myself up and bundled them up into their winter coats, stockings, jeans, socks, shirt, sweatshirts and shoes....As I did so, I heard the wind whipping FURIOUSLY through the trees in my back......um......yard? (its a parking lot pretty much that has trees in it)...I shook my head and braced myself for a bitter coldness that I was not prepared for this early in November...Thanksgiving yes...perhaps the first week in December....but NOW?! REALLY?! Ugh...

Though I cant really expect it not to be this cold now. Three years ago next month, on Lilia's 5th birthday, we had a blizzard hit this state so large, it shut down all of Providence for the entire night into the next day...school buses unable to drop kids off, there fore wreaking havoc on parents, causing panic amongst them...Heres hoping that if we ever get another blizzard so big, they'll shut down the schools faster and activate the National Guard faster unlike they did that year. Kids were on some school buses until 1130, with no places to use the bathroom or eat. I would have been panicked! It took the pizza delivery guy 3 and a half hours to get here from a 2 minute drive away. He eventually had to park and WALK to our house from Valley Street (about 4 blocks) to get Lilia's birthday pizza here. Yeah, he got a $10 tip for that one.

So, considering today is November 8th and it is freezing and it snowed this morning, I am ready for a brutal brutal Winter...especially since this summer wasn't all that bad.

Yikes.

On another note...From the mouths of babes...

When we were coming out of the store, and I was wrangling the girls out to the car while pushing the cart and holding Julias hand, Holli, my ever inquisitive one, asked me why people littered. I simply told her that not everyone cares about Mother Earth...To then which she replied "But, WHY Mama?" I told her "well, becaue baby, not everybody was raised to..." "Like we were?" She said..."Right baby...you were raised to care and not to litter." I replied...

It brings to mind how people are raised today...Why DONT more people care about this earth? It is in fact where we live and have to live for the rest of our lives...Why dont more people give a rats ass about the surroundings they live in? I have had people tell me that they dont care about "this mud ball..." and that theyll be "long gone by the time all the trash builds up..."

Well, truth be told, the "TRASH" is building up alot faster then we think...They are running out of room in Landfills and it scares me to think of where they will put all the trash that they collect every week after they do. I am honestly scared for my great grand children and beyond....This earth wont be the same as it was when I was growing up and now, when my girls are growing....Goddess help us all when Mother Earth decided to implode due to peoples ignorance of how they treat her...