I'm starting to notice a trend here lately...When I first started dating yrs ago, everyone took it slow, took their time getting to know someone and really creating a beautiful relationship around GETTING to know someone....Now a days everyone seems to be in such a hurry....in the past almost year, Ive had/seen guys that wanted to pretty much jump from just meeting to married in 2.3 seconds............WHYYY?! What the EFF is the hurry? Are you dying tomorrow? Is the world going to end??? WHY be in *SUCH* a hurry to form a bf/gf relationship SO FAST?!
Taking your time in a relationship is direly important...what happens if suddenly you decide after one date that youre someone's S.O. and you brag/tell all your friends "OOOOOOOH, hes/shes SOOOO wonderful! blahzieblahzieblah" and you find out a day later hes a murderer/rapist/bank robber or he does drugs/illegal things??? What then???
If I am EVER dating someone, you wont know it until we're in the serious pool...meaning, Ive found out enough about him, learned enough about this person to ACTUALLY announce that he, whomever it might be, is worthy of being called my boyfriend...
I dont understand people that jump into relationship after relationship or jumping into ANY kind of relationship without REALLY getting to know someone...this goes for friendships too....Some of my dearest longest term friends, I'm STILL getting to know............years later.........are they my friends? Absolutely...do I trust them enough to have them be a part of my life? Sure......but that doesnt mean that I KNOW them....and the same goes for love relationships.
Taking it slow is something that I need in love relationships and I dont understand that the rush is...
Ok, yes, I am guilty of jumping headfirst without getting to know someone, but that was back in my VERY young days...Even with Dave, it took him 4 MONTHS to get into my heart/head before I even agreed to "be his girl"...we were friends first...we talked on Yahoo/texting/on the phone...we hung out a couple of times...and THEN, we became a couple....and THEN we "announced" we were bf/bg to the "world".....and aside from Cameron, EVERY relationship that I have *EVER* jumped head first into without truly getting to know them took a massive flaming nosedive into hell...
And im noticing that with guys in this area, in my age range...it seems they want to go from just meeting to married, literally in 2.2 seconds....I remember back last summer...Dave had just went back to Jersey...someone asked me to dinner, and, just to get out, the girls werent here and i was alone for a while...and i said yes...now..in my mind, this was not going to be a relationship thing because #1 i was NO WHERE NEAR ready to have one...but HE was...driving home from dinner/drinks that night, he was talking about the future with me already, talking about taking trips, etc etc...this was only supposed to be dinner...and #2) it was the "first date" so to be speak...in no way do I EVER constitute a 1st ANYTHING to be a relationship.............apparently, this guy did...
After me getting severely freaked out that he wanted something so fast, i avoided his phone calls for a week...but, he kept (desperately) calling/texting me...after a while, i answered...........2 minutes into the conversation, he says to me "April, are YOU ready for a serious relationship? Because I am..."
Did I mention he was 5 months out of his last relationship that he was STILL married to her???????
Shit, Im just barely out of my divorce a month and I'm STILL not ready for the serious relationships that most people around here seem to want from the jump...
I just dont understand it....What the hell is the RUSH???????
I really wish sometimes that I could be this age that I am now, and rewind time and date BACK when i first started dating because things just seemed to really go a lot slower back then.........is it the quest to have things NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW that has people rushing things??
Im not saying the jumping from relationship to relationship is wrong, or even rushing things....but, for ME, i *CANT*..........especially now that I'm older and wiser and set in my ways....I may not be traditional in a lot of ways, but in other ways i am....
I believe in being a gentleman and a lady (when it calls for it)...I believe in men holding doors open for ladies, pulling out chairs, being polite and having manners...(i.e. not belching/farting and laughing out loud thinking its hilariousy funny....when in fact, its quite rude and disgusting and should be kept to yourself...)
I believe in saying "please", "thank you", and saying "i appreciate you" is a turn on...I appreciate a hard working man that works hard to be romantic, loving and affectionate and keep his woman happy, even if its something as simple as bringing her chicken soup and a flower if shes sick....making me a cup of tea/coffee, supporting my work/dreams...being supportive and encouraging are turn ons too...
I believe in dressing up and looking good and think that tshirt and jeans ALL the time is lazy (unless you look REALLY good in NICE jeans and a NICER tshirt...OR don't mind getting ACTUALLY dressed up once in a while (WIHTOUT bitching and complaining about it)....I'll have to admit that seeing a man in a nice suit is a bigger turn on to me then seeing one in tshirt and jeans any day)
I believe that there's such a selfishness now a days of ME-ME-ME now a days that no one wants to really put effort, compromise and work into anything...especially relationships...but yet, they meet someone, and then have that person INSTANTLY be a FWB/bf/gf/fiance/husband/wife, IMMEDIATELY...
what the hell is the faults in getting to REALLY know someone before jumping into ANYTHING??? especially into the sac with someone..........I have never had a FWB....*NEVER*....because they don't work with me...and while I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with it, it wouldnt work for me because if *I* was in that situation, my heart/soul isnt set up to just "have sex like a man" and I would start to develop emotions..........which surprisingly happens a lot in those type of relationships and then people end up getting hurt.....
I dunno, I guess im just old fashioned now in the thinking that there should be a point of getting to know someone before jumping into the bf/gf/engaged/married pool...
