25 random things about me
1)I can sing.............no, I mean, REALLY sing
2) i secretly like to turn on my itunes (or my ipod) and dance around my livingroom acting like Im a rockstar on stage
3)Im a control freak
4) I LOVE the quiet
5) Im addicted to SIMS. I LOVE it. and Im NOT a gamer
6) I have to color my hair every 3 weeks because my hair grows SO fast that in that time, i have an inch of regrowth
7) I LOVE sushi............no, I mean, I LOVE sushi...could eat it everyday if I was able.
8) I have severe trust issues but once I DO trust you, you better not do anything to LOSE that trust.
9) I have been REALLY hurt by alot of various people that have come and gone in my life and it cause me to have.......*issues*
10) I only drink two cups of coffee in the morning.......anymore then that and my stomach starts to really hurt.
11)Speaking of the previous...withOUT those two cups, Im a zombie and my brain literally doesnt function properly...my tongue has been known to get tongue tied and I drop things until I get it...
12)Im the BIGGEST clutz on the planet and Im forever hurting myself by accident
13) (if you dont already know this one, ya dont really know me) I AM ADDICTED TO MAKE UP....I would spend my entire fortune a month to buy it...
14) In the same token, I would also spend a fortune on Tattoos if i could and had no other responsibilities..............I have SO many tattoo ideas in my head that I wanna get but not the money to FUND it......(i really need this job I just "interviewed" for)
15) When I paint, I cant paint when Im happy or in a good mood...all of my painting I do is crap when IM happy..........all of the stuff that I paint is done when Im angry or in a shitty mood and it comes out fantastic....Painting releases those emotions...
16) I hate getting my nails done but I do it cause my natural nails are hideous.
17)I dont watch alot of television with the exception of a couple of shows...I could go all day without it on if i had to and not be bothered by it.
18) i HATE being outside but I LOVE camping (figure THAT one out)
19) Im a breakfast food snob....I wont eat sausage gravy but LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE cream chipped beef...I like what I like and thats all that I like.
20) im really predictable if you know me well.
21)I am 100% happy with who Ive become in this life. I have been through hell and back and can safely say that I have very little mental/emotional problems because of them.
22) I am REALLY set in my ways.
23) My faith in Wicca and the Goddess moves me to become a better person.
24) I hate open cabinets and drawers...........it drives me completely BONKERS....I also hate when my vaccumm cord is wrapped around the little prongs the way that its "supposed" to be done...I like it all wild and just hand wrapped and hung....
25) it took me a LONG ass time to fill this out.
March 31, 2011
March 08, 2011
If I could do it all over again....
My pregnancies and birth I'm talking about, I totally would...If I had known back then what I know now, I totally would have done things differently.
And while I *DID* do things with my last three somewhat how I wanted, I didn't know that you could do certain positions (and you SHOULD) to bring the baby easier...I didn't know the many many options that I had...While I did have no pain meds with the girls, I wanted a water birth, a home birth and didn't want to be flat on my back having them. I used a midwife for all three of the last births but I really didn't want to be strapped to a bed. I wanted to walk...walking helped me with Lilia and she basically just slid right out. I was sitting upright the way most women who have delivered babies for centuries did and had no problems...
With my first child, who is now 15, i was laying flat in a delivery room, with my legs up in stir-ups, gowns and masks on everyone, looking like a surgical environment...and while I understand that, as she was 9 weeks early, I wish that I would have voiced my opinion a little more but they had me SO drugged up on pain meds that I barely remember her birth which is sad.
With my son, who is 11, I did walk. I decided that I didn't want a repeat of Samantha's birth and only asked for an epidural at the latest possible moment (I was around 8 CMS I think)...I had complications with my back for weeks afterwards and found it hard to push him out...I decided then and there that if I did decide to have more children in the future, I wasn't having any drugs because both of the experiences I had were bad thus far...
Fast forward to three years later, 2002, when I was having Lilia....I went with a Midwife, whom I adored...I was walking, being monitored with a hand held heartbeat monitor to check on her status, only having to come lay down for internal checks ten minutes out of every hour, to make sure I was progressing, even though my water had broken, un-medicated, alert and sat upright and her birth was beautiful. Fast and uncomplicated...Very little pain and I cut her cord...She was 5 weeks early and small (5lbs 12 ounces) but healthy....She was the first un-medicated birth I had accomplished...
With Holli, I had to be induced somewhat as every time I would go into labor, it would stall as soon as I got to the hospital. I had actually wanted a home birth with her but Cameron, their father, didn't want that. So, away we went to the hospital when my Midwife told us to come to the office to check me out...I had gone to the hospital every time I thought I was in labor (I would stall EVERY time.) and she wanted to make sure...When she checked me, she said "yup, I see the bleeding youre talking about and youre 4CMS now...go to the hospital, we'll give you pitocin and get it going..."
As soon as I got to the hospital, they strapped me down with those god awful baby heart beat and contraction monitors and I was massively uncomfortable. They told me it was because of the pitocin they had to keep me monitored but now, thinking back, I believe that I actually had had Pitocin with Lilia too and they didnt seem to think that it was necessary to keep me strapped down then...
Anyway, her birth was painful, and uncomfortable but I did that unmedicated as well...Cameron was awesome and helped the midwife deliver her, and he cut her cord....
Julias birth was a bit more complicated...I was 37 weeks 6 days when I went into labor with her, 38 when I delivered...The night before she was born, I had called all of my coaches (Cameron had died 2 months one week before she was born) and told them that I thought it was it...I was having contractions every 5 to 7 minutes and they were somewhat painful...
The hospital checked me and said that I was 4-5 CMS but I wasnt progressing...They asked me if I wanted to go home or stay and see what my doctor said in the morning (these were resident docs and would only call MY doc/midwife if I was in true labor)...I told them I wasnt leaving, that I KNEW that I was in labor and that I wanted to see my doc...When he came in @ 9:00 am in the morning and checked me, he was outraged at the nurses as they hadnt given me an iv of saline solution or anything...I was 5 cms and couldnt believe he hadnt (or my midwife) been called.
He looked at the nurse, told her to hook me up to an iv to give me pitocin, looked down at me (apologetically) and said that we were going to have a baby that morning...Julia was born at 11:09...two hours after I was hooked up and given an IV.
I wish to the goddess that I had been more open with voicing my wants/needs and I *almost* wish that I could get pregnant again so that I *COULD* have the birth of my "dreams"...
But, alas, that will never happen...Guess Ill have to live vicariously through all my pregnant (or soon to be pregnant) friends...
And while I *DID* do things with my last three somewhat how I wanted, I didn't know that you could do certain positions (and you SHOULD) to bring the baby easier...I didn't know the many many options that I had...While I did have no pain meds with the girls, I wanted a water birth, a home birth and didn't want to be flat on my back having them. I used a midwife for all three of the last births but I really didn't want to be strapped to a bed. I wanted to walk...walking helped me with Lilia and she basically just slid right out. I was sitting upright the way most women who have delivered babies for centuries did and had no problems...
With my first child, who is now 15, i was laying flat in a delivery room, with my legs up in stir-ups, gowns and masks on everyone, looking like a surgical environment...and while I understand that, as she was 9 weeks early, I wish that I would have voiced my opinion a little more but they had me SO drugged up on pain meds that I barely remember her birth which is sad.
With my son, who is 11, I did walk. I decided that I didn't want a repeat of Samantha's birth and only asked for an epidural at the latest possible moment (I was around 8 CMS I think)...I had complications with my back for weeks afterwards and found it hard to push him out...I decided then and there that if I did decide to have more children in the future, I wasn't having any drugs because both of the experiences I had were bad thus far...
Fast forward to three years later, 2002, when I was having Lilia....I went with a Midwife, whom I adored...I was walking, being monitored with a hand held heartbeat monitor to check on her status, only having to come lay down for internal checks ten minutes out of every hour, to make sure I was progressing, even though my water had broken, un-medicated, alert and sat upright and her birth was beautiful. Fast and uncomplicated...Very little pain and I cut her cord...She was 5 weeks early and small (5lbs 12 ounces) but healthy....She was the first un-medicated birth I had accomplished...
With Holli, I had to be induced somewhat as every time I would go into labor, it would stall as soon as I got to the hospital. I had actually wanted a home birth with her but Cameron, their father, didn't want that. So, away we went to the hospital when my Midwife told us to come to the office to check me out...I had gone to the hospital every time I thought I was in labor (I would stall EVERY time.) and she wanted to make sure...When she checked me, she said "yup, I see the bleeding youre talking about and youre 4CMS now...go to the hospital, we'll give you pitocin and get it going..."
As soon as I got to the hospital, they strapped me down with those god awful baby heart beat and contraction monitors and I was massively uncomfortable. They told me it was because of the pitocin they had to keep me monitored but now, thinking back, I believe that I actually had had Pitocin with Lilia too and they didnt seem to think that it was necessary to keep me strapped down then...
Anyway, her birth was painful, and uncomfortable but I did that unmedicated as well...Cameron was awesome and helped the midwife deliver her, and he cut her cord....
Julias birth was a bit more complicated...I was 37 weeks 6 days when I went into labor with her, 38 when I delivered...The night before she was born, I had called all of my coaches (Cameron had died 2 months one week before she was born) and told them that I thought it was it...I was having contractions every 5 to 7 minutes and they were somewhat painful...
The hospital checked me and said that I was 4-5 CMS but I wasnt progressing...They asked me if I wanted to go home or stay and see what my doctor said in the morning (these were resident docs and would only call MY doc/midwife if I was in true labor)...I told them I wasnt leaving, that I KNEW that I was in labor and that I wanted to see my doc...When he came in @ 9:00 am in the morning and checked me, he was outraged at the nurses as they hadnt given me an iv of saline solution or anything...I was 5 cms and couldnt believe he hadnt (or my midwife) been called.
He looked at the nurse, told her to hook me up to an iv to give me pitocin, looked down at me (apologetically) and said that we were going to have a baby that morning...Julia was born at 11:09...two hours after I was hooked up and given an IV.
I wish to the goddess that I had been more open with voicing my wants/needs and I *almost* wish that I could get pregnant again so that I *COULD* have the birth of my "dreams"...
But, alas, that will never happen...Guess Ill have to live vicariously through all my pregnant (or soon to be pregnant) friends...
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