Ok, so instead of putting this all in my status which only allows 420 characters, I figured I would write out a blog -
THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF AND IRRITATE ME -
Women that will give up everything, even their choice of education, for a man.
People who confuse femininity with idiotic, cutesy, giggly, hair-tossing, hanging-all-over-a-man, flirt-till-everyone-around-you-wants-to-puke girlishness.
Men who tell me "I think our friendship would be more solid if we had sex, and got it out of the way." My response: "Not with someone else's body, honey."
Men who walk right past me when I'm in grubby sweatpants and a t shirt, and who then slobber all over me and try to act like Mr. Personality when I'm dressed up. Like I can't tell the fucking difference. And those SAME men who walk up to me and start touching me when I'm wearing something tight/pretty/whatever...THEN, if I don't give them the time of day, I'm a bitch who just wants to talk to good-looking people. Yo asshole, what did you come up to ME for? My Mother-Theresa-like inner beauty or that short little black dress that I was wearing?
Guys who smoke pot all day, as if this makes them sooo hot, swearing that "everyone does it..." I don't and i wont and the smell of it makes me sick... so dont preach to me about how "NATURAL" it is...it STILL FRIES BRAIN CELLS.
Allegedly Christian bible thumpers who throw every noncontextual verse of the Old Testament at anyone thats NOT Christian while conveniently ignoring the New Testament edicts to "Judge not lest ye be judged." and "to love one another."
Religious dorks who think just because you have a different belief system, you must be wrong, required to tell them all about it, and interested in hearing The Truth.
People who think Wicca is Satanistic.....still to this day i have people ask me question after question...if you want to know about Wicca, RESEARCH IT YOURSELF. Dont depend on information that you got from all the hollywood crap thats in movies or on TV. Wicca is a Religion just as much as christianity and buddism and all those others....Oh, and if one more person calls it WICCAN, im gonna flip...Its WICCA, I AM WICCAN. Oy.
People who think Wicca is just a stage I'm going through....after 5 YEARS, Id wager a guess its NOT just a phase...Its my religion, I love my Goddess and follow and worship her with all my heart.....get with it people!
When I'm into a hobby, people asking me what I'm going to do when "I'm tired of it."
Girls who take months getting over some asshole who treated them badly, and then get back together with him.
Men who think women are not good enough to serve in the Military, and the women that are just too damn prissy to....ive had guys say to me "YOU? enlisted in the ARMY? Really? in the Chemical Corps? But youre a chick!" Really? because im a woman i must be stupid and weak?!
Parents and Inlaws who stick their noses into their ADULT children's lives.
People who say, "So who are you going to go out with now?", when they hear that I separated from Dave....Um, DOUCHEBAG...just because Im a woman, with kids, DOES NOT MEAN that i NEED a man...i DONT. Back off. stay out of my frickin business.
Guys who say that they are attracted to your independence, and then two months (or longer) later, tell you they can't deal with a decision you made that was independent....yup....Beauty School....and Dave. Whatev.
Women who KNOW they are a size 14 squeezing their big asses into a size 6, 2 PIECE, SPANDEX outfit....really? i mean COMEONNNNNNNNNN!!!!! i dont wanna see your muffin top or your ass cheeks lookin like two pigs fighting under a blanket...WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIIIIIIIIITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When bartenders/doorpersons look at my i.d. and claim (in surprise) "Wow you were born in 76? You look so much younger." Dude, I KNOW....i get it EVERYWHERE i get carded....think of something more original wontcha??????
Men who assume that my assertiveness must be because "some man burned me". Worse yet, the patronizing types who say, "You'll be okay once you've found Mr. Right, despite my careful explanations that i HAD found Mr. Right and he died. and that i dont WANT to "find" another *replacement* Mr. Right....Cameron was my ONLY Mr. Right...
PeOpLe wHo TyPe LiKe ThiS orrr lyke thysssssssssssssssssssss - PLEASE use correct grammar and spelling! MAJOR pet peeve of mine.
People who think I'm always on the brink of flying off the handle, just because I speak my mind and I'm not afraid of expressing emotions. I say something that sounds even remotely un-easygoing and they say, "Calm down. Don't worry so much! Just calm down." You keep on telling me to calm down and I really WILL fly off the handle.
People who say "why isn't a pretty girl like you hooked up yet?" when they dont know me or my situation.
People who ask me if I have a boyfriend, and when I say no ask "Why not?"
People who, for some reason I can't quite fathom, get defensive and angry with me when I tell them I'm celibate, or tell me I wouldn't be so uptight if I could just get a good lay. I had a guy on fubar the other night, when i told him that i couldnt have an orgasm unless I was in love with someone and thats one reason i didnt do one night stands as they were pointless to me, that he "called bullshit on that one." really? because I wouldnt let YOU into my pants, obviously i was lying...really. MMMHHHMMMM...getta clue. NOT every woman has an orgasm EVERY time she has sex...there ARE women out here that have to have emotional connections to someone TO orgasm. AND, that dont have one night stands. PLEASE!
People who think I'm a lesbian because I don't throw myself at every man I see, or because I refuse to make an idiot out of myself over a man. (i.e. celebrities or someone who flirts with me at a bar.......um, HELLO...BARS are for one night stands...I only go to dance and have a few beers, not to meet people!!!)
ug...so, yea, im in a pissy mood...things irritate me but i dont ever say it because im always "ms nice"....no more. THE BITCH IS BACK BABY!
October 22, 2010
October 21, 2010
What do you say???
To a 4 and a half year old that was born after her daddy died when she says to you "Mommy, I miss daddy..." My heart breaks everytime she says this to me...it breaks even more then it already is because everyday, I miss him too. I miss the way he made me feel, so loved, adored...I miss how devoted he was...to me AND his girls...
Tell me, what do you say to a 6 year old that looks just like him when she says she misses him too when she says she doesn't remember him because she was only 18 months old when he died???
I guess you can say that its been a rough day...Earlier today, my girls and I were talking about the fact that one day, when they feel ready, they will eventually move out (much to my dismay) to be on their own and find a boyfriend and then a husband...My Bear says to me "Mommy, you left your house because your family was mean to you right?" and I said "yes, babydoll. I left because my mommy beat me up everyday and called me bad names..."
....and then they asked me why she would do that...How do you explain to children that young why you were abused? and why a mother would be so cruel to her child?
It makes me thankful that my girls adore me and tell me on a daily basis that I am the "best mommy in the world!" (and that comes more often when i do things like stop at dunkin donuts for a coffee and get them each a donut, or take them some place special like the zoo)...It makes me grateful that I broke the cycle with my children, that I will never lay a violent misguided hand on them...i dont call them names, i dont ridicule them...even when im not in the best of moods, if they draw a picture and bring it to me gleefully and say "LOOK MOMMY!!!!!" i dont say to them something awful that would be detrimental to their self esteem. Even if im dying in bed, I still muster up a "FANTASTIC baby, its beautiful!!!"
I dont understand why parents have to be so mean to their kids...dont they realize that they are our future generations?? Dont they realize that the more they berate mistreat and abuse our kids (whether its physically or mentally), how much MORE fucked up they would be?? and how pushing them away will make it harder for them later in life to adapt to a relationship and be NORMAL???
Case in point...someone close to me was abused....beaten and berated, kicked out when he was 13 and made to live with family....his marriage was later destroyed because he inflicted the same kind of abuse on his spouse that he endured as a child...another case in point...a girlfriend of mine abused, beaten, berated earlier in life by a male authority figure in her life, made her seek out the affections that she missed out on with this man, with any man that would pay attention to her, and it ending her up in bad relationship after bad relationship...she made the same mistakes over and over again because she hadnt found what she was looking for...
and me....well, i dont know what my issue with relationships are....my first ex, well, he was a career criminal. then there were the few after him before Cameron....one was abusive and threatened me on a daily basis...one cheated on me....another mistreated me in general....then I met my Cameron.......wonderful loving, kind, affectionate, caring Cameron....the man took my shit, accepted it for the way I was and I can only be thankful that I had him for such a short time in my life...
And then theres Dave....well, we all know where thats ended up...another abusive relationship...what is IT with me finding these assholes that like to abuse women?!
I think its because I was raised being abused and I dont feel (even though I KNOW with out a SHADOW of a doubt that I do) that i deserve any better...
Oh well, Im still living my life one day at a time...I dont look towards the future anymore because every time I do, I'm let down BADLY...With friends, relationships and family members...I spend every waking day with my children and thats just going to have to do.
Tell me, what do you say to a 6 year old that looks just like him when she says she misses him too when she says she doesn't remember him because she was only 18 months old when he died???
I guess you can say that its been a rough day...Earlier today, my girls and I were talking about the fact that one day, when they feel ready, they will eventually move out (much to my dismay) to be on their own and find a boyfriend and then a husband...My Bear says to me "Mommy, you left your house because your family was mean to you right?" and I said "yes, babydoll. I left because my mommy beat me up everyday and called me bad names..."
....and then they asked me why she would do that...How do you explain to children that young why you were abused? and why a mother would be so cruel to her child?
It makes me thankful that my girls adore me and tell me on a daily basis that I am the "best mommy in the world!" (and that comes more often when i do things like stop at dunkin donuts for a coffee and get them each a donut, or take them some place special like the zoo)...It makes me grateful that I broke the cycle with my children, that I will never lay a violent misguided hand on them...i dont call them names, i dont ridicule them...even when im not in the best of moods, if they draw a picture and bring it to me gleefully and say "LOOK MOMMY!!!!!" i dont say to them something awful that would be detrimental to their self esteem. Even if im dying in bed, I still muster up a "FANTASTIC baby, its beautiful!!!"
I dont understand why parents have to be so mean to their kids...dont they realize that they are our future generations?? Dont they realize that the more they berate mistreat and abuse our kids (whether its physically or mentally), how much MORE fucked up they would be?? and how pushing them away will make it harder for them later in life to adapt to a relationship and be NORMAL???
Case in point...someone close to me was abused....beaten and berated, kicked out when he was 13 and made to live with family....his marriage was later destroyed because he inflicted the same kind of abuse on his spouse that he endured as a child...another case in point...a girlfriend of mine abused, beaten, berated earlier in life by a male authority figure in her life, made her seek out the affections that she missed out on with this man, with any man that would pay attention to her, and it ending her up in bad relationship after bad relationship...she made the same mistakes over and over again because she hadnt found what she was looking for...
and me....well, i dont know what my issue with relationships are....my first ex, well, he was a career criminal. then there were the few after him before Cameron....one was abusive and threatened me on a daily basis...one cheated on me....another mistreated me in general....then I met my Cameron.......wonderful loving, kind, affectionate, caring Cameron....the man took my shit, accepted it for the way I was and I can only be thankful that I had him for such a short time in my life...
And then theres Dave....well, we all know where thats ended up...another abusive relationship...what is IT with me finding these assholes that like to abuse women?!
I think its because I was raised being abused and I dont feel (even though I KNOW with out a SHADOW of a doubt that I do) that i deserve any better...
Oh well, Im still living my life one day at a time...I dont look towards the future anymore because every time I do, I'm let down BADLY...With friends, relationships and family members...I spend every waking day with my children and thats just going to have to do.
October 18, 2010
Wow
So, it suddenly dawned on me this morning that this will be our 4th Halloween up here in Rhode Island. I'm in shock. I cant believe all the time that we've been up here, how well we are doing, how well things are going, what Ive accomplished in my life in the time that we've been here. I moved on my own, with very little help (literally, VERY little....dave and his brother, his nephew and his bratty niece who threw a hissy fit tempter tantrum and then REFUSED to help any of us and then made her brother stop helping, does NOT warrant help), with three toddlers..Lilia was 4, Holli was 3 and Julia was only 18ish months old when we moved up here. The apartment we moved into was a total shit hole but hey, everyone needs their first craphole right?
Two months after moving up here I enrolled in and a year later finished beauty school, breaking up with dave shortly after, getting back together with dave, getting married, dealt with him going off to BCT (thats basic training for the non army speaking peeps out there reading this) and having someone break into our buildings basement and steal all the copper tubing (damn methheads)....
He came back, Kim and her kids moved in...we moved into my BEAUUUUUUUUUUUTTTIFUL house that I have now ( STILL in love wit this place.) kim moved out, I kicked Dave out in June and am now taking a sewing and dressmaking course and trying to get my make up artistry business off the ground....Life couldnt be any better...and with Halloween (Wiccan new year!! WOOHOO!! :) ) around the corner and whats going on the end of this month with the two disturbed concerts that I wanna go to, halloween parties and the girls going down to the inlaws....on top of home schooling...Whew. its crazy chaotic. But, i love it. I would change ANYTHING about my life at all. Everything that i have gone through has made me the tough, gruff, strong woman that I am today. I love the chaos, the nuttiness and all the craziness that comes with my life.
Being a mom, a woman, independent from a man, making it on my own, taking care of my own and doing me for once, honestly feels good. I am living my life the way that I have felt like I needed to live ever since Cameron left this realm. I spend my time reading, reading tarot cards, developing my mind and my body and strengthening who I am inside as a person....
..............and it feels great. Im the happiest that Ive been since Cameron and I wouldn't trade it for all the world.
Two months after moving up here I enrolled in and a year later finished beauty school, breaking up with dave shortly after, getting back together with dave, getting married, dealt with him going off to BCT (thats basic training for the non army speaking peeps out there reading this) and having someone break into our buildings basement and steal all the copper tubing (damn methheads)....
He came back, Kim and her kids moved in...we moved into my BEAUUUUUUUUUUUTTTIFUL house that I have now ( STILL in love wit this place.) kim moved out, I kicked Dave out in June and am now taking a sewing and dressmaking course and trying to get my make up artistry business off the ground....Life couldnt be any better...and with Halloween (Wiccan new year!! WOOHOO!! :) ) around the corner and whats going on the end of this month with the two disturbed concerts that I wanna go to, halloween parties and the girls going down to the inlaws....on top of home schooling...Whew. its crazy chaotic. But, i love it. I would change ANYTHING about my life at all. Everything that i have gone through has made me the tough, gruff, strong woman that I am today. I love the chaos, the nuttiness and all the craziness that comes with my life.
Being a mom, a woman, independent from a man, making it on my own, taking care of my own and doing me for once, honestly feels good. I am living my life the way that I have felt like I needed to live ever since Cameron left this realm. I spend my time reading, reading tarot cards, developing my mind and my body and strengthening who I am inside as a person....
..............and it feels great. Im the happiest that Ive been since Cameron and I wouldn't trade it for all the world.
So many Changes
So, in the last 5 months since Dave has been gone, i cant believe the changes that have occurred in me and around me. I look back to the blogs that I wrote when he had just left and have been working on myself thoroughly since then.
I meditate almost on a nightly basis. Ive been reading, thinking, praying to the Gods and Goddesses, developing and becoming the strong woman that I once was....and, I can almost feel myself start to trust a bit more everyday...just by the little things that I let my girls do, bit by bit, I'm releasing some more of my controlling grip on them, not letting the negative thoughts enter my brain...Even though things haven't been the best over the last few years, I am slowly trying to build my life back up after Dave destroyed me. I do not feel the hatred, nor do I feel the anger for the people that harmed me in the past.....in fact, I feel sorry for them. I feel pity for them because they were honestly just bullies and felt badly about themselves and didn't know any better...I’ve made it through all the bull and hell and back and I can honestly say that I am a MUCH stronger person then i have ever been.
I've been working on the trust again, working on the forgiveness of people and attempting to be more compassionate and kind towards man kind. Honestly, because there is too much hatred, greed, and violence and just plain meanness in people. It literally makes my heart sad and makes me just sad for humanity...
A friend of mines daughter, told me today that her friends uncle was murdered recently and that today was the memorial. REALLY?! The poor girl had to deal with someone close to her dealing with murder? That just saddens my heart and proves my point with how cruel the world can be…and how deluded and sick…
In addition, I believe last year, a friend of mine whom also home-schools her children told me that a friend of hers' (we'll call her jennifer) daughter told "jennifer" that one of her classmates was on the school bus giving a little boy head. REALLY?! At the time, apparently this little girl was LILIA's AGE!!!!!!!!!! (thes 7 for those of you that dont know)..........How the HELL would a 7 year old KNOW about giving head??? INCREDIBLE.
I take care of, adore and cherish every moment with my girls and almost worship the grounds they walk on. Without them, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be here. The fact that people would subject their kids to that kinda of thing and that kind of behavior, boggles my mind….The thing that i cant understand about people is how much they bitch and complain about being parents and having to "do so much" or their kids or "needing a break"....really, if you WANTED a break or didn't want to be around kids, or raise them to do right or HIDE them from obscenities, WHY DID YOU HAVE THEM?!? If you really didn’t want them, or thought that it was ok to have them around that, you should have just given them up for adoption, I’m sure they could have gotten a much better upbringing then the attitude yelling, screaming and beating, neglect, or being ignored they get...
I grew up having the LITERAL shit kicked out of me....and I remember how scared to death I was because of it most of the time. FOR that reason, I RARELY lay my hands on my children. WHEN I do, you better believe they did something MAJOR to warrant it. When they look at me, I want them to look at me with love and compassion and remember their growing up as fun, loving, affectionate and happy...not be scared to death of me, intimidated or anything of the sort...not filled with anger and hate and being told they are a "pain in the ass" or that I hate them...i ADORE my children...Am I strict and hard on them? Absolutely. You ask anybody that knows me AND them and you see how fantastic their manners are, how well behaved they are....BECAUSE I am hard on them and strict without being violent.
The only thing that I have ever wanted to do in my life besides make up and sing, was be a mom. I couldn't wait to be a mother. I adored EVERY second of being pregnant, even with the morning sickness, the sore breasts, the exhaustion....I felt so lucky to be able to bring a life into this world because i know there are women that aren’t able to get pregnant, and spend THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of dollars TRYING to get pregnant.....I honestly feel honored and blessed that the gods and goddesses blessed me with the ability. I don't know what I would have done if I wouldn't have been able to have the children that I so desperately wanted.
Its why I wanted to home-school them. Aside from the fact that I REFUSE to send them to school in this school district because they SUCCCCCKKKKKK, the very thought of anything happening to my children's innocence and vulnerabilities scare the living hell out of me. Especially going through what I did when i was in school, being bullied on a daily basis, being ridiculed, made fun of, and all that nonsense, i refuse to let my children be subject to that. Its also why I am EXTREMELY careful about what they watch, whats on their tv and what I allow them to be subjected to. I want them to remain innocent for as long as possible. This part of their lives is SO important, SO dependant on a great future that I spend every moment that I can with them in this most important time of their lives.
I care about and adore my children so much that I wont ever put them in daycare...I have three sitters that I use. I refuse to have them around other peoples kids because people don't know (or don't care) about putting their SICK kids in daycare and getting OTHER kids sick...Do I understand that there are some parents that cant take the time off because their kid is sick? Absolutely, I get that. I'm a single parent, have BEEN a single parent and had to worry about that, but ya know what? I either found another BACK UP option or i stayed home from work and took care of my sick child. All's a sick child wants is their mommy anyway, so I'm going to be there for my child. If the employer fires me? Oh well, my children absolutely come first...with all my qualifications, I can easily find another job.
From the abuse when I was younger into my teenage years...to my rapes, to the friggin' Christian boarding school NIGHTMARE that felt like a god damned boot camp for Christianity, to the ex husband that couldn't keep his ass outta jail and giving up my older two children to being homeless to meeting and falling in love with the best thing to ever happen to me, to loosing him and having to raise my girls without their Daddy, to everything that’s gone on in the last 5 years (almost) that Cameron has been gone...I can honestly say that I have been through the ringer and back but I’m still here and persevering like one bad ass bitch. I’m strong, know who I am and what I will and wont put up with, and slowly but surely putting the pieces of my heart back together after loosing trust and faith in humanity and love….I am woman, hear me roar…
I meditate almost on a nightly basis. Ive been reading, thinking, praying to the Gods and Goddesses, developing and becoming the strong woman that I once was....and, I can almost feel myself start to trust a bit more everyday...just by the little things that I let my girls do, bit by bit, I'm releasing some more of my controlling grip on them, not letting the negative thoughts enter my brain...Even though things haven't been the best over the last few years, I am slowly trying to build my life back up after Dave destroyed me. I do not feel the hatred, nor do I feel the anger for the people that harmed me in the past.....in fact, I feel sorry for them. I feel pity for them because they were honestly just bullies and felt badly about themselves and didn't know any better...I’ve made it through all the bull and hell and back and I can honestly say that I am a MUCH stronger person then i have ever been.
I've been working on the trust again, working on the forgiveness of people and attempting to be more compassionate and kind towards man kind. Honestly, because there is too much hatred, greed, and violence and just plain meanness in people. It literally makes my heart sad and makes me just sad for humanity...
A friend of mines daughter, told me today that her friends uncle was murdered recently and that today was the memorial. REALLY?! The poor girl had to deal with someone close to her dealing with murder? That just saddens my heart and proves my point with how cruel the world can be…and how deluded and sick…
In addition, I believe last year, a friend of mine whom also home-schools her children told me that a friend of hers' (we'll call her jennifer) daughter told "jennifer" that one of her classmates was on the school bus giving a little boy head. REALLY?! At the time, apparently this little girl was LILIA's AGE!!!!!!!!!! (thes 7 for those of you that dont know)..........How the HELL would a 7 year old KNOW about giving head??? INCREDIBLE.
I take care of, adore and cherish every moment with my girls and almost worship the grounds they walk on. Without them, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be here. The fact that people would subject their kids to that kinda of thing and that kind of behavior, boggles my mind….The thing that i cant understand about people is how much they bitch and complain about being parents and having to "do so much" or their kids or "needing a break"....really, if you WANTED a break or didn't want to be around kids, or raise them to do right or HIDE them from obscenities, WHY DID YOU HAVE THEM?!? If you really didn’t want them, or thought that it was ok to have them around that, you should have just given them up for adoption, I’m sure they could have gotten a much better upbringing then the attitude yelling, screaming and beating, neglect, or being ignored they get...
I grew up having the LITERAL shit kicked out of me....and I remember how scared to death I was because of it most of the time. FOR that reason, I RARELY lay my hands on my children. WHEN I do, you better believe they did something MAJOR to warrant it. When they look at me, I want them to look at me with love and compassion and remember their growing up as fun, loving, affectionate and happy...not be scared to death of me, intimidated or anything of the sort...not filled with anger and hate and being told they are a "pain in the ass" or that I hate them...i ADORE my children...Am I strict and hard on them? Absolutely. You ask anybody that knows me AND them and you see how fantastic their manners are, how well behaved they are....BECAUSE I am hard on them and strict without being violent.
The only thing that I have ever wanted to do in my life besides make up and sing, was be a mom. I couldn't wait to be a mother. I adored EVERY second of being pregnant, even with the morning sickness, the sore breasts, the exhaustion....I felt so lucky to be able to bring a life into this world because i know there are women that aren’t able to get pregnant, and spend THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of dollars TRYING to get pregnant.....I honestly feel honored and blessed that the gods and goddesses blessed me with the ability. I don't know what I would have done if I wouldn't have been able to have the children that I so desperately wanted.
Its why I wanted to home-school them. Aside from the fact that I REFUSE to send them to school in this school district because they SUCCCCCKKKKKK, the very thought of anything happening to my children's innocence and vulnerabilities scare the living hell out of me. Especially going through what I did when i was in school, being bullied on a daily basis, being ridiculed, made fun of, and all that nonsense, i refuse to let my children be subject to that. Its also why I am EXTREMELY careful about what they watch, whats on their tv and what I allow them to be subjected to. I want them to remain innocent for as long as possible. This part of their lives is SO important, SO dependant on a great future that I spend every moment that I can with them in this most important time of their lives.
I care about and adore my children so much that I wont ever put them in daycare...I have three sitters that I use. I refuse to have them around other peoples kids because people don't know (or don't care) about putting their SICK kids in daycare and getting OTHER kids sick...Do I understand that there are some parents that cant take the time off because their kid is sick? Absolutely, I get that. I'm a single parent, have BEEN a single parent and had to worry about that, but ya know what? I either found another BACK UP option or i stayed home from work and took care of my sick child. All's a sick child wants is their mommy anyway, so I'm going to be there for my child. If the employer fires me? Oh well, my children absolutely come first...with all my qualifications, I can easily find another job.
From the abuse when I was younger into my teenage years...to my rapes, to the friggin' Christian boarding school NIGHTMARE that felt like a god damned boot camp for Christianity, to the ex husband that couldn't keep his ass outta jail and giving up my older two children to being homeless to meeting and falling in love with the best thing to ever happen to me, to loosing him and having to raise my girls without their Daddy, to everything that’s gone on in the last 5 years (almost) that Cameron has been gone...I can honestly say that I have been through the ringer and back but I’m still here and persevering like one bad ass bitch. I’m strong, know who I am and what I will and wont put up with, and slowly but surely putting the pieces of my heart back together after loosing trust and faith in humanity and love….I am woman, hear me roar…
I've learned...
I've learned... that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned... that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned... that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned... that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned... that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
I've learned... that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned... that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned... that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned... that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned... that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned... that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned... that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned... that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned... that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned... that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned... that family and friends are what make us who we are today, and without them we would never be complete.
I've learned...that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in *giggle just kidding!*
I've learned...that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off
I've learned... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned... that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned... that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned... that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned... that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
I've learned... that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned... that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned... that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned... that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned... that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned... that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned... that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned... that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned... that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned... that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned... that family and friends are what make us who we are today, and without them we would never be complete.
I've learned...that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in *giggle just kidding!*
I've learned...that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off
update blog
October 9, 2010
So, today I did my measurements and Im happy to say that I have had incredible progress...
Arms - 10.5" (1/2 INCH LOST!)
Waist - 29" (1.5" LOST!!!)
Thighs - 18" (1 Inch LOST!)
Chest - 32" (nothing lost there but that's ok...i'm happy with 32 inches...wouldnt wanna get TO small in the bust area. :( damn small boobies. )
I am SO stoked....When i originally started my healthy lifestyle, I had a 35 inch waist, and a 38 inch bust....Im So happy!! So, that makes 5.5 inches off my waist, and 6 inches off my chest...Ive lost 20 llbs and all those inches and i feel FANTASTIC!!!!!! :-)
I am also the weight that I was when i had my 30th birthday party!!!
So, today I did my measurements and Im happy to say that I have had incredible progress...
Arms - 10.5" (1/2 INCH LOST!)
Waist - 29" (1.5" LOST!!!)
Thighs - 18" (1 Inch LOST!)
Chest - 32" (nothing lost there but that's ok...i'm happy with 32 inches...wouldnt wanna get TO small in the bust area. :( damn small boobies. )
I am SO stoked....When i originally started my healthy lifestyle, I had a 35 inch waist, and a 38 inch bust....Im So happy!! So, that makes 5.5 inches off my waist, and 6 inches off my chest...Ive lost 20 llbs and all those inches and i feel FANTASTIC!!!!!! :-)
I am also the weight that I was when i had my 30th birthday party!!!
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