Well...a lot has happened in the last couple of years......Since October, I have been actively trying to reconnect with myself and figure out my footing in the world after coming out of an abusive manipulative relationship. Previous to that, the relationship i mentioned was coerced. I didn't want to be with him but he was (attempting) to black mail into staying with him and doing what he wanted me to do. That was since January of last year. So its been a long LONG year and a half.

After i got the strength up to finally say, "Ya know what, do what the fuck you want, I cant take this anymore" and do what i needed to do to get away from him, he went to jail because i was able to get him in a way that proved he was violating his parole.

He served 6 months for that/those parole violations. The week he got out, he was told to stay away from me, not to contact me in any way, not to email me or anything...

He showed up exactly 1 week after he was released and physically assaulted me with a knife.

Two days ago was the Grand Jury hearing to determine if there was enough evidence to formerly charge him with everything.

There was and he was indicted on all counts.

He is looking at 20+ years from the 8 felonies hes being charged with. Not to mention the 5-10 yrs hes being charged with for the Pennsylvania and New Jersey Parole Revocation and violations.

He is spending the rest of his life in prison. And I can breathe.

It also helps that I have found an amazing man that treats me gently, and is sweet and kind and caring and genuinely loves me and has been there for me through all the chaos. He holds my hand when I'm scared or nervous, or anxious...He tightens his hugs a little longer when he knows im having a "moment"...he talks to me when things are "wrong"......to sum it up... he calms the storms within my soul beyond anything ive ever experienced.

No one has ever made me feel more at peace then he does.

Nothing makes me happier then to lay in his recliner snuggled with him, eating poppie-corn with my puppy at our feet, gently snoozing away, watching something on tv, (lately its been Firefly...Why had i never heard of that before? its a really adorable show! Seriously, if you haven't heard of it, you should check it out...) Or sitting down to a dinner with my girls and his two kids, him, his sister, his parents...Or even, cleaning his house...he had a pretty bad previous relationship with someone who literally is psychotic...(think un-medicated schizophrenia/bipolar/borderline personality disorder....I'm not kidding)....he had 2 children with her and she has lost all rights to their kids. so he has sole, physical and legal custody of them...I want nothing more then to make his life the best it could ever be....because of that he dealt with.

Being with him makes me the happiest I've ever been in a long long time.

And the sex is the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. I'm able to have orgasms on top with him...i've never been able to do that....I've squirted with him...I have never done that with anyone....and he makes me laugh harder then I've ever laughed with anyone...

He makes my life so so much better, which makes me want to help him to make his life better.

I have never once in my entire life felt so incredibly in love with someone as much as I am with him. And I know that he actually, genuinely feels the same about me...

We've been together almost 2 months but it feels like so much longer because i am at peace with him more so then a couple whos only been together for 2 months usually feels...My guess is because weve been friends for so much longer and discussed so much more stuff then someone who has just started dating... No longer do i have the fear that my heart will be broken so therefore, the walls have come CRASHING THUNDERINGLY DOWN, which, if you know me, youd know that is not easy at all.

So many signs have said that hes the One. That hes not going any where and I've told him I'm around for as long as he wants me.

I don't say "Forever" because, lets be honest, no one can live forever as we aren't immortal....and, I said Forever to someone once............and he died.

But i know that I can trust him with everything that i have and he will never ever intentionally hurt me.

And Im the happiest ive ever been.

So, basically, thats where ive been, what ive been up to and whats been happening and why I havent been around hardly with the exception of posting occasionally in my groups.