Wow

So, it suddenly dawned on me this morning that this will be our 4th Halloween up here in Rhode Island. I'm in shock. I cant believe all the time that we've been up here, how well we are doing, how well things are going, what Ive accomplished in my life in the time that we've been here. I moved on my own, with very little help (literally, VERY little....dave and his brother, his nephew and his bratty niece who threw a hissy fit tempter tantrum and then REFUSED to help any of us and then made her brother stop helping, does NOT warrant help), with three toddlers..Lilia was 4, Holli was 3 and Julia was only 18ish months old when we moved up here. The apartment we moved into was a total shit hole but hey, everyone needs their first craphole right?

Two months after moving up here I enrolled in and a year later finished beauty school, breaking up with dave shortly after, getting back together with dave, getting married, dealt with him going off to BCT (thats basic training for the non army speaking peeps out there reading this) and having someone break into our buildings basement and steal all the copper tubing (damn methheads)....

He came back, Kim and her kids moved in...we moved into my BEAUUUUUUUUUUUTTTIFUL house that I have now ( STILL in love wit this place.) kim moved out, I kicked Dave out in June and am now taking a sewing and dressmaking course and trying to get my make up artistry business off the ground....Life couldnt be any better...and with Halloween (Wiccan new year!! WOOHOO!! :) ) around the corner and whats going on the end of this month with the two disturbed concerts that I wanna go to, halloween parties and the girls going down to the inlaws....on top of home schooling...Whew. its crazy chaotic. But, i love it. I would change ANYTHING about my life at all. Everything that i have gone through has made me the tough, gruff, strong woman that I am today. I love the chaos, the nuttiness and all the craziness that comes with my life.

Being a mom, a woman, independent from a man, making it on my own, taking care of my own and doing me for once, honestly feels good. I am living my life the way that I have felt like I needed to live ever since Cameron left this realm. I spend my time reading, reading tarot cards, developing my mind and my body and strengthening who I am inside as a person....

..............and it feels great. Im the happiest that Ive been since Cameron and I wouldn't trade it for all the world.